Alien Beasts

Alien Beasts

This is a very bad film. On every level it fails. It's so bad that goes beyond being boring and becomes confusing, almost disturbing at times. The way in which characters speak, the repetition within the narration, the stilted movements in fight scenes, the peculiar framing of every scene... It's all at odds with what we expect a piece of narrative film to function. The more it attempts to explain whats what and whos who, the less it makes sense, the more we begin to question if this isn't all some elaborate joke at the expense of dutiful horror film aficionados.

The films so bad that nobody involved could possibly believe it to be anything other than damaged, unless it's purposefully broken and twisted, purposefully subverting expectations and form. Even if that is the case, it certainly doesn't make it anything close to entertaining. The most you could expect to get from this is a mild headache - why is this guy repeating himself? Why is he mumbling? Why is that plasticine head melting? There are a few words and sentences that stand out amidst the monotonous dribble of narration - something about the CIA, some terrorists, Iran... maybe some aliens, but maybe just people mutated by radiation. It doesn't seem to matter as the film will simply contradict itself in the next moment, or just revisit an earlier scene, or focus on a woman undressing.

It's difficult to understand how this film ever made it onto any kind of market, people still purchase/rent/download it today. Occasionally these no-budget-DIY-shot-on-video experiments feel somewhat charming and playful, and can even showcase some genuine artistic creativity. None of that is applicable here. The camera is consistently rigid, afraid or ignorant of how to move - as if it were random pieces of CCTV stitched together. There is no consistency from scene to scene, it fails to ever establish a coherent mood or tone. It's attempts at sincerity aren't funny, as is often the case with low-budget cinema. So why do people watch this? Why did I watch this? I watched this in the hope of finding another relic of the VHS era, a fun and provocative splatter-happy 70 minutes. But it's so far from that... it feels remarkable that a film of such incredibly poor quality managed to exist on (an albeit limited) public market for so long.

It won't be a fun experience to watch and discover how bad this is. You will feel muddled and downhearted.

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