Marshall Lorenzo

Marshall Lorenzo

Joe Dirt but make it slutty. Hoe Dirt. Hoe some dirt. I'm a farmer.

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  • Midsommar

    Midsommar

    ★★½

    Competition rules were NOT clear. Zero obvi front runners in the 'Design a Wedding Brunch Lewk' challenge. NO CONFESSIONALS OR VOICE OF THE SEASON. Finally warms up once we get to the runway (slaying those looks, flower-vomit, I lived). Sad to see bear lewk was bottom two - wrong winner crowned IMO.

  • Hamilton

    Hamilton

    ½

    I bless and thank this trash for highlighting which of my theatre friends now Rest In Peace.

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  • Bridesmaids

    Bridesmaids

    ★★★★★

    LOOK AT THESE REVIEWS??? MEN MEN MEN MEN MANLY MEN MEN. GTFO, I cannot fathom sitting in the same room as someone who did not like this movie. There was a guy at work who shrugged and said 'meh' when I questioned him. I lowered my knife, and thought "what is WRONG with you???" and "how am I going to continue with this business, knowing that you are one of my colleagues???". I quit there and then, after slamming my…

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns

    ★★★★★

    Fuck people who try to say their favourite movie is 'Citizen Kane' or 'Casablanca' or some shit. Technically speaking, your favourite movie is the film you've seen the MOST number of times. You are an asshole if you try to say you've seen 'Citizen Kane' 112 times. You will get no dicks sucked. Batman Returns is THAT movie for me. This movie is why I'm a gay I think. "I am Catwoman, hear me roar" - the moment I knew I sucked dick.