no idea what to rate this or really even what this is

ELIZABETHTOWN: PORT OF CALL HAWAII

With every subsequent movie, it becomes increasingly clear that Cameron Crowe is only interested in one thing: Finding the least hospitable environment for a romantic comedy, and forcing it to accommodate one. The Seattle grunge scene. The wild world of sports agents. A private zoo. Kentucky. The afterlife. (Though, in the spirit of full disclosure, it’s only fair to mention that Vanilla Sky makes a half-hearted attempt to subvert the genre’s most familiar tropes.) The guy is like a cross between Nora Ephron and Fitzcarraldo, obsessively determined to haul meet-cutes and manic pixie dream girls to unnatural places that have little hope of sustaining them. To that end, Aloha might represent Crowe’s final frontier, and not just because it literally begins in outer space.

READ THE FULL REVIEW ON TIME OUT

i put this on as i was going to sleep last night just so i could see the part where emma stone walks in with her basic-ass gap catalog flats/capris/button down combo like she's about to interview for an unpaid internship as a wedding planner and bradley cooper says "boy i'm a goner"

Wow, LOL. Okay.

the morning after:

Genuinely mortified. How do you out-white Forrest Gump?? With respect to Get Out, this film is pretty indisputably the century's pioneering horror comedy about race—it is both more horrifying and more revealing. What a bummer. I'm so sad. Everyone involved should be ashamed.

“Scores same as last time and
Way way worse in ny
It’s a wrap
There is no more to do
Cameron never really changed anything
People don’t like people in movies who flirt with married people or
married people who flirt
The satellite makes no sense
The gate makes no sense
I’m never starting a movie again when the script is ridiculous
And we al know it
I don’t care how much I love the director and the actors
It never
Not even once
ever works”

— Amy Pascal

I bought a zoo, but I'm not buying this. (Full review here.)

AloNO

Overall I actually didn’t hate it I thought it was OK, I saw nothing but mediocre reviews but I was interested in the film because the incredible cast. The plot is really meh but the movie had a few enjoyable aspects. Bill Murray was my favorite part of the film without a doubt, he’s one of those actors who can’t turn in a boring performance, unfortunately he didn’t have a whole lot of screen time but the scenes that he was in were fun to watch. Emma Stone is great as always and Bradley Cooper was good although he’s kinda just playing himself.

5.5/10

"It never
Not even once
Ever works."

- Amy Pascal

(But really, I fucking loved how bonkers this movie is)

Was feeling bad at 2am and wanted something with Emma Stone to make me feel better. This did not do it

Yikes.

this movie felt like a fever dream

i mean Emma Stone's whitewashing is maximum cringe but the fact that Cameron Crowe really told Elon Musk's origin story back in 2015 and we as a society did NOTHING about it is what will keep me up tonight

"i don't wanna end up a decal on your laptop"
FFUCK OFFF

Pobre john krasinki man dijo 4 palabras y el resto fue TELEPATIA CON BRADLEY COOPER ¿?

A ,marriage of the late night frat house philosiphizing of Vanilla Sky with the grody aesthetics of Elizaethtown but with the "down home country" stuff replaced with weird race shit! Everything bad about Cameron Crowe in one movie with the added displeasure of CIA Jim. Wanted to die the entire time with sweet relief only granted during the 30 seconds of Dunkin Donuts commercials that played every 7 minutes on the PlutoTV app. Like every fucking CC film I had a genuine emotional reaction (this time laughing at the Alec Baldwin monologue near the end of the film that is basically the same as the one from Elizabethtown) and than immediately fell ill.

cameron crowe's filmography is soo good then BOOM aloha! that last scene actually made me feel something though so this 1/2 star is for danielle rose russell only

Final movie of We Pod a Cast, “Blank Check” miniseries on Cameron Crowe

i wonder how much they paid bradley cooper, emma stone, jaeden martell, john krasinski and rachael mcadams to be in this film.....

also the toe thing with cooper was unecessary .... what is this film

Why did it take so long for Earth to make a white-washed, rom-com about the military space industrial complex?!? WHY? TELL ME WHY!? I mean, come on guys, this subject material is rife for artistic achievement!

Absolutely no disrespect to Cameron Crowe, but I feel like that guy has a filmmaking disability.

The directing, writing and editing is a joke, but this film features so many of my favorite actors, that I can’t say I hate it. The cinematography is lovely and that combined with the incredible cast is why I enjoy watching this.

Emma Stone’s performance is all over the place and is almost a joke. There had to be some serious miscommunication between her and Crowe for an amazing actor like Stone give such a bad performance. The movie is random and bad. but again, I still like it. 

Rachel McAdams, Bradley Cooper, Alec Baldwin, John Krasinski, and even Bill Murray are in this too! The fact that Cameron Crowe can make such a bad movie with such a great cast and somehow still make me love it is such a mystery to me.