Mulholland Drive ★★★★★

this is the girl.

dear god. i've tucked this film in a corner for several years because i wanted to watch it in a dark room on a huge screen in the dead of an autumn night. here i am. i dreamt about this film before i saw it, having guarded myself from the plot for so long, i still somehow dreamt about this film before i saw it. oh god i didn't want to do this, i knew what was going to happen to me. did you know you can't dream of a face you haven't seen before? i wanted to testify to something else, i didn't want it to be what i knew it was. this is a narcotic, this is exactly how i dream, deconstructed, scattered, erratically hazy pieces saying one thing and meaning another - and i can't ask anyone to understand that but do believe me when i say FEVER is not the word - none of the millions of words could be strung together in syntax that would suit this moment jesus CHRIST i felt seen the moment justin theroux said "get along little doggy."

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