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  • The Prodigy

    The Prodigy

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The characters in this film acted like it was the 1800s and didn’t know what a lightbulb was. Literally 90% of the movie is the mom walking in the dark house investigating. And it’s not like the lights didn’t work (they did) she just DIDN’T USE THEM.  

    My manager (who walked in halfway through): “GIRL he’s by the window and you ain’t looking. The light switch is RIGHT THERE. You deserve to be sliced.”

    Then my dude chopped up…

  • Serenity

    Serenity

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    First of all, WHAT.

    Second of all, I can’t believe this was an actual movie.

    Third of all, WHAT??

    Serenity is one of the most insane messes I’ve watched in a while. I have A LOT of random thoughts on this movie. I’ll be spewing incoherent thoughts in this review to pay homage to how incoherent and convoluted this film is.  

    The spoilers start down below, so feel free to read what’s above the line, though, I warn you now…

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  • For All Mankind

    For All Mankind

    ★★★★

    That score though

  • Megan Is Missing

    Megan Is Missing

    ½

    Oh my goddd.

    Glenn and I BOTH paid $2 to watch this, so we single-handedly funded the budget for Michael Goi’s next feature.  Sorry in advance world.

    I can’t stress enough how bad this is.  I PAID to watch a 10 minute shot of a STICK.  I PAID to watch a 8 minute, obnoxiously loud party scene where the audio is so poor and awful that it’s hard to hear anything.

    Other than Megan, the only thing that’s missing in this movie is any sense of quality filmmaking whatsoever.  Absolutely, without a doubt, complete and utter garbage.  

    0/100

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  • First Man

    First Man

    ★★★★

    Whiplash > La La Land > First Man > 80% of movies this year

    Damien Chazelle does it again, this time making an intense, and often poignant film, about Neil Armstrong. I liked Gosling’s performance in this; however, I really liked Claire Foy’s performance, even though she was in it for less of the runtime.

    I absolutely loved the choice to make this film as personal as possible, giving us plenty of grainy closeups of faces, keeping many of the shots as tight…

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★

    “The fear of becoming prey keeps both of them alive.” 

    Yoooooo, this is exactly what I wanted the film to be. I thought it was extremely entertaining and I found it to be a lot of fun. I’ll try to keep it as vague as possible, but here are some thoughts on it:

    – There’s some really clever moments, as well as an awesome long-take of Michael (which was one of my favorite sequences).

    – I loved the parallels (or…