Solo: A Star Wars Story ★★★

• Lando

• The cast for, the most part.

• L3-37 seriously challenged K-2SO for my favorite droid of all time, what with her accidental revolutionary leadership and insistence that human/droid sex is a thing.

• Lando

• The whole movie should've just been about Lando.

• Han Solo is the kind of character who works best without a backstory. He's worldly, jaded, but ultimately a loyal friend when it comes right down to it. The way he was introduced in A New Hope was perfect, we do not need everyone's backstories all the time.

• There were, like, several instances of things that already existed in the Expanded Universe (or even the new canon) being replaced by nearly identical but less fully-formed/cool things with slightly different names. It eventually started to feel like I was watching the knockoff brand of Star Wars. Why would you make I Can't Believe It's Not Star Wars when you're literally making a Star Wars movie?

• Han and Lando's past seemed like it was probably longer and more interesting the way it was presented in The Empire Strikes Back, but it felt like Solo was just in a huge rush to make their entire history together happen over the course of one movie, and it honestly kind of sucked.

• Similarly, I'm so glad the Millennium Falcon looks the way it looks because of a single encounter with a black hole instead of being modified over a longer period of time to fit the necessities of a smuggling career.

Wait, not "glad." The other one. Annoyed.

• I really, really, really, really didn't need Han Solo's last name to have an origin story that wasn't "it was my parents' last name, that's how names work." This is not a thing anyone needed to happen. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea?

The Verdict
• I'd rather be watching Revenge of the Sith. Objectively, this is probably a much better movie, but it's a much worse Star Wars movie. I'm not saying I'll never rewatch it again, because let's be real, I love Star Wars way too much for my own health and well-being. But it's definitely one of the least interesting Star Wars movies ever.

• How the fuck did Han "no, really guys, I don't need a backstory, I promise" Solo get an origin movie instead of Leia "I'm literally a princess and potential Jedi, and oh yeah also I led a violent revolution" Organa?

• If Boba Fett gets an origin movie and Leia doesn't, I quit Star Wars. (Not really. I'll never quit Star Wars. Probably.)

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