Caligula ★½

im still in disbelief!! i had heard the critiques and i thought i was ready for some ancient rome soft core porn show but this is just straight up regular porn and i felt like a lady clutching her pearls through damn near every scene.

its such a surreal experience to watch helen mirren and malcolm mcdowell act it out in one scene (and the acting is good!!!) to go to a literal cum shot in the next, i mean in a way this baby has it all lol... and by that i mean all your porn preferences, from golden showers to fisting to incest to rape to cock torture to sperm body/face masks to lesbian scissoring to actual childbirth (they used 3 pregnant extras and shot a proper birth scene isn’t that wild?!!??)

 the slutty costumes were my favourite, absolutely iconic, we cannot have one character without their genitala all the way out at any given time. but in the end, i have genuinely watched actual real porn that is less graphic than this and this is nearly three hours long and i’m sorry to say, it gets old quick.