• Fat Albert

    Fat Albert

    5/10

    Shoutout to @dragonsblood23 for the request.

    Fat Albert is part of a trend where studios took old animation IPs, and placed their cartoon characters into a live-action world. Other examples of this include Space Jam, Scooby-Doo (2002), and The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000). For what it is, Fat Albert is a run-of-the-mill movie. It's not the type of film worth getting mad about, nor is it something to celebrate. Just all around mediocre. Although, I must admit that…

  • Himiko

    Himiko

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    7/10

    Shoutout to @bennygripzz for the request.

    Himiko tells the story of an ancient Japanese shamaness-queen of the same name, and does it in an arthouse fashion. This is probably a movie that I need to re-evaluate in the future, because there is a lot of cultural and historical context that I'm missing. Perhaps, there is a detailed documentary about Himiko somewhere on YouTube. After watching that, I'd finally know what exactly is going on with those weird guys covered…

  • Vaxdockan

    Vaxdockan

    9/10

    Shoutout to @bewilderedbee for the request.

    A lot of my reviews focus on cult classics like Come & See or Tetsuo: The Iron Man. With films like those, they have been wildly acclaimed and talked about in film circles, so I usually have a good idea of what they are like before watching them. However, relatively obscure films like Vaxdockan (which translates into English as "wax doll") are a treat because I don't know what to expect from them. I…

  • Tetsuo: The Iron Man

    Tetsuo: The Iron Man

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    10/10

    Shoutout to @tomas_thomas for the request.

    The tale of an onryo's curse told through the lens of cyberpunk sci-fi, which ends with a homoromantic apocalypse. Yeah, its just as bizarre as it sounds. Shinya Tsukamoto borrows certain elements from Lynch and Cronenberg, while maintaining his own unique vision. The end result is something that is both silly yet disturbing. For a majority of the time, Tetsuo: The Iron Man doesn't feel like you're watching a movie. Instead, it feels…

  • Come and See

    Come and See

    9/10

    Shoutout to @system_7 for the request.

    Come and See is often touted as an anti-war film, but its really not. It doesn't preach cowardly pacifism, but rather, it just refuses to make a spectacle out of war. In this film, war is not an epic battle between good and evil. Instead, war is an unfortunate predicament that caught many innocent civilians in the crossfire. Elem Klimov gives us the harsh reality of life under Nazi-occupied Belarus, which lost a…

  • Saturn 3

    Saturn 3

    7/10

    Shoutout to @system_7 for the request.

    Saturn 3 has two directors. One of whom is Stanley Donen, who is best known for directing Singin' in the Rain. To say that Saturn 3 is uncharacteristic of his usual work is an understatement. It'd be like if Dario Argento directed a musical rom com.

    The other director is John Barry, who is best known for doing the set design for the original Star Wars trilogy. Knowing that, all the sets in…

  • Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

    Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    5/10

    Shoutout to @system_7 for the request.

    Its a standard kaiju film, except for Godzilla's death in the end, which rarely happens in this series (this is one of four films where Godzilla dies). To understand the context of this movie, you need to see Godzilla (1954) and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II beforehand. I did not, and it confused me at first. Thankfully, there is Gojipedia, which keeps me up to date with kaiju lore.

  • Thomas and the Magic Railroad

    Thomas and the Magic Railroad

    5/10

    Shoutout to @dantheman2150ad for the request.

    Today, I'm reviewing a film that I haven't seen since I was 5 years old. Anyways, for a Thomas branded movie, there were surprisingly few scenes that actually feature Thomas. Most of this movie was focused on the human characters, especially Alec Baldwin's charismatic, miniscule conductor. Peter Fonda, Mara Wilson, and Russell Means also star in this film.

    All in all, this is a film for kids and no one else, which is…

  • Eleni

    Eleni

    7/10

    Shoutout to @spingy19 for the request.

    Back when John Malkovich had some hair on his head. Anyways, this is a drama about the Greek Civil War, and its aftermath three decades later. It also has a powerful message at the end. Films like Eleni and The Day After inspired Ronald Reagan to end the nuclear arms race.

  • Year of the Dragon

    Year of the Dragon

    4/10

    Shoutout to @system_7 for the request.

    A racist cop has a discriminatory view of Asians, until one day, he gets yellow fever, and becomes slightly less racist. YOTD can be seen as Michael Cimino trying to atone for the racist depiction of the Vietnamese in The Deer Hunter, but he fails miserably at that. Plenty of scenes and remarks in here are quite insensitive, even if they had good intentions.

    For the first hour, Year of the Dragon is…

  • Las Vegas Bloodbath

    Las Vegas Bloodbath

    4/10

    Shoutout to @bloodmountain for the request.

    It's an SOV film, so you know its going to be filmed on shitty camcorders. It also relies too much on natural lighting, which (combined with the aforementioned camcorders) makes every indoor scene look like it was shot in black-and-white or grey, when it's clearly not meant to be. Every actor in here make porn stars look like award winning thespians. Once you read Las Vegas Bloodbath's plot description on IMDB, you know…

  • Fire and Ice

    Fire and Ice

    8/10

    Shoutout to @greg69420 for the request.

    Trying to cash in on the recent success of Conan the Barbarian, Ralph Bakshi created this sword and sorcery film. However, this time, he is not alone. Bakshi joins forces with Frank Frazetta, whose artwork I find to be tacky, yet I can see why some people might like it. Peter Chung and Thomas Kinkade (he definitely did the snowy mountains of Icepeak) also did some animation work for this film.

    Sure, the…