The Old Guard ★★★

the exact sort of thing I would have loved to see as a 1:30pm matinee with my parents back in the suburbs and we're all like, "great! why not!" afterwards. on a laptop, weaknesses are certainly more apparent - the script is full of a lot of nonsense dialogue, e.g. "wait for the signal/how will I know/trust me... you'll know." whatever! of the recent existential interpretations of the "ah shit here we go again" gif, this grapples with tedium and violence in a way I liked. and the action is solid enough. Charlize could do this kind of shit in her sleep. I wonder if I'll get tired of it, but not yet. KiKi Layne - very curious to see where her career goes. she shines in the intimate scenes, an infinitely likable on-screen presence. Matthias Schoenaerts has got to be one of the most underrated modern actors - an elevated himbo for girls who studied abroad. I love him! Marwan Kenzari gives a monologue about having a boyfriend for 1,000 years (can't relate) that is so stirring I'm almost convinced the Guy Ritchie Aladdin is good. Harry Melling is doing one half Riz Ahmed in Venom and one half Daniel Radcliffe in Now You See Me 2. I'm happy for him, honest. this city is afraid of me... I have seen its true face. the streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood... the accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and people will look up and shout, "does Luca Marinelli, Martin Eden from Martin Eden, have an Instagram?" and I'll look down and whisper... "no..."

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