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  • Unrelated

    Unrelated

    ★★★★

    in 2007 we were all wearing capri pants and screaming at our parents on vacation

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

    ★★½

    insanely incoherent and barely enjoyable. first hour a total waste of time outside of the crucial Tom Hollander scenes (imagine... you are me... you are fifteen years old... you are introduced to ruthless smol capitalist Tom Hollander in both this and the previous year's Pride & Prejudice). weak in the knees for Keira in drag and the foley on all of Bill Nighy's face tentacles. no part of my brain has ever forgotten when he plays the organ with his head. the three-way sword fight is still wonderful - the only thing in the movie worth watching with both eyes.

  • Things to Come

    Things to Come

    ★★★★½

    how come when I watch stuff about American academics trying to figure it out I'm like, "FUCK you and FUCK this," and when I watch stuff about European academics trying to figure it out I'm like, "ah, this is the most Fulfilling a Life can Be" ?

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

    Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

    ★★★★½

    Hans freaked it

  • Being John Malkovich

    Being John Malkovich

    ★★★★½

    Cameron Diaz is a total revelation in this. a gorgeous performance! she is so much happier selling wine I guess but I really do miss seeing her on screens - big and small. it is not THE performance of the movie but it is MY performance of the movie, if that makes sense. anyway, a few years ago I took my mom to see Dvorak's Symphony No. 9 - my favorite symphony? - at the CSO and the first act…

  • The Nice Guys

    The Nice Guys

    ★★★★

    [laurie metcalf ladybird voice] it makes me laugh

  • Purple Noon

    Purple Noon

    ★★★★

    visually spectacular - every frame a treat. just sumptuous to watch! makes the Minghella look like shit and that movie is very beautiful, too! Alain Delon has the longest eyelashes of any person of any gender. society (aka me) has progressed past the need for a single gold chain. now I need a MEDALLION. in terms of the Ripley canon, it's fascinating to see where this one BEGINS: mid-Italy, mid-friendship. it doesn't not work but it is WEIRD, imo. Highsmith…

  • Born in Flames

    Born in Flames

    ★★★★½

    this pulls off the dreamiest balance of infuriating and hopeful. I wish more filmmaking assumed the world was different than it was - even if it not necessarily a better world. the rage is palpable; the conversations are prescient. I do not want to reduce women to outfits, but there are some great ones here. between this and Contact, it's like, should I buy a radio??

  • She Dies Tomorrow

    She Dies Tomorrow

    ★★★

    if I was possessed with the unshakable notion that I was going to die tomorrow, I would simply just be kind and loving to everyone I know and otherwise keep it to myself

  • Haywire

    Haywire

    ★★★½

    basically what’s been going on in my apartment between me and the mice

  • Italianamerican

    Italianamerican

    Catherine Scorsese's kitchen wallpaper is so beautiful I legitimately teared up

  • My Cousin Vinny

    My Cousin Vinny

    ★★★½

    Tomei, duh