Gabriel has written 99 reviews for films during 2018.

  • Made Men

    Made Men

    Just finished Mad Men for the first time, but it’s not on here. This is closest. Talk to me about Mad Men, please. I must decompress in company!

  • Ralph Breaks the Internet

    Ralph Breaks the Internet

    Whereas the “in-jokes” in the last film revolved around warm, vintage video games I have no cynicism for, the “in” here is Amazon Prime and Disney. Often, the “winks” feel more like “bows”. 

    And while some light comments are made about the notion of virality and video game violence in the movies new, original IPs, making both Shank and Yesss lifelessly “cool” characters implies both Slaughter Race and BUZZTUBE are, in the end, healthy worlds, soften any empactful comment on…

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    Laughed a lot but also had a tiring sense of dread the entire time, anticipating the way Yorgos was going to try and hurt me!


    I love Lanthimos’ movies. They are an event I look forward to each year. I get very excited, always forgetting I will invariably leave feeling a bit naseous. Yes, me watching Lanthimos’ movies is a lot like me running in Downtown Orlando’s annual 5K Turkey Trot.

  • The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

    The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

    ★★★★★

    Like with Wes Anderson and Grand Budapest Hotel, the Coen Brother’s have proven a mastery their tone, and to such an extent that they now get to fuck around not with how we expect stories to be told, but how we specifically expect them to tell a story. With any other director, I may be weary of their choices, but I don’t think anyone in this theater ever felt in danger, even when Tim Blake Nelson was flying away with mini-wings…

  • Can You Ever Forgive Me?

    Can You Ever Forgive Me?

    Everyone is doing great here. Much love to all involved!

  • First Reformed

    First Reformed

    Last night I confessed to friends that I hadn’t seen that many great movies this year. The Lord heard me, and delivered this gift. It’s only flaw was that it was offered to me for viewing in the middle seat of an airplane. I really wish I had seen it in the theaters.

    After it ended, instead of trying to find another distraction for the next two hours of complimentary Dasani bladder,
    I considered meditating, allowing myself to remember as much…

  • Widows

    Widows

    Steve McQueen’s hyper-realism does not work well with “the babysitter from that app is gonna drive the heist van.” 

    This movie spent all of it’s good creative energy on Chicago, but that left little energy to develop the actual people stealing money onscreen.

  • Overlord

    Overlord

    Loved the opening. The rest of it seemed accidently unsure on whether or not war is good or bad. Seems an easy enough fix (bad!) 


    Also, It was projected through a dim, blurry 3D projecter. It was 2D. Should be illegal: regulate AMC! 


    Lastly, I wish there had been a Cloverfield monster, in earnest.

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    This movie was so unnecessarily long, you KNOW I’m about to call it...

    The Lord of the Dance: Return of the Queen!

  • Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh

    Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh

    Good and funny often

  • Joy Ride

    Joy Ride

    The best part of this movie was the circumstance in which it was watched, my friend unironically raving about it and suggesting we watch it “tonight!!” And when I said, “it’s Halloween we should probably watch something scary,” he said, “Joyride is scary!” 

    Anyway, not it’s not, but it was fun enough, and it’s always good to remember that Steve Zahn was hot shit in the late 90’s/early aughts.

  • E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

    E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

    ★★★★★

    Finally saw it I n the theater. A 10:30 am showtime, advertised as a ‘family matinee.’ Was careful to sit next to a twenty-something film couple to avoid being the single guy gently crying into his morning popcorn a seat away from your restless children. 

    It’s an opera from Dolby speakers, undoubtedly the world’s best film score, and is so genuine in its tenderness that it reminds me of that Steve Martin thought on trying to make the audience laugh…