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  • Aquaman

    Aquaman

    ★★

    i want jason momoa to take me by the hand and lead me to the land, that he understands

  • Funny Games

    Funny Games

    ★★½

    those games weren’t very funny at all

  • Paper Man

    Paper Man

    why am i doing this to myself

  • The Cable Guy

    The Cable Guy

    ★★½

    free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac

  • Forces of Nature

    Forces of Nature

    ★½

    ben affleck doesn’t even deserve to be near sandra bullock

  • New Rose Hotel

    New Rose Hotel

    ★★★★

    uhhhhh i can explain

  • Undertaking Betty

    Undertaking Betty

    ★★½

    sure put the fun in funeral

  • Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

    ★★★½

    if i was married to ben affleck, i would take every step possible to get away from him

  • Band Aid

    Band Aid

    ★★★½

    zoe lister-jones please start a band with me

  • Freddy Got Fingered

    Freddy Got Fingered

    ★★★★★

    the only film that should be watched on valentines day

  • The Yards

    The Yards

    ★★½

    joaquin phoenix

  • Peter Rabbit

    Peter Rabbit

    we were all desperate for new roles and money , so we took the fist thing we could possibly get: the movie