• Jeepers Creepers

    Jeepers Creepers

    ""He was standing there at your car! Sniffing that laundry! Holding big handfuls of it under his nose! Looked like he was liking it too!'

    Francis Ford Coppola (CAPTAIN EO) presents Victor Salva's (NATURE OF THE BEAST, boyraping) RAPE VAN DUDE

    An annoying brother (Justin Long, DRAG ME TO HELL, GALAXY QUEST)/sister (Gina Philips, uh... DEAD & BREAKFAST) duo are driving and a rape van is mean to them on the road, when they find the rape van they decide to…

  • Jeepers Creepers

    Jeepers Creepers

    Think adding the rape van in the remake was a pretty inspired decision.

  • The Munsters

    The Munsters

    'It was either one of the best movie I ever seen or one of the worst. I'll have to see it again.'
    -Roger Ebert upon seeing PULP FICTION for the first time

    This sure was something. Whether I think that's good or not I'm not sure yet...

    Acting as a prequel or origin story to the old tv series, it often plays as more of a collection of scenes rather than a story. They add up to a story of…

  • Rites of Passage

    Rites of Passage

    "Not lookin' for trouble mister!'
    James Remar: 'Sometimes... trouble comes looking for YOU!"

    "Why don't we all just whip 'em out and see who's biggest?"

    "You don't sleep on top of a man in a tiny box without gettin' ta know 'im!"

    So Dean Stockwell (BATMAN BEYOND: THE RETURN OF THE JOKER, THE BOY WITH GREEN HAIR) and his movie son Robert Glen Keith (STORM CATCHER with Dolph Lundgren (I COME IN PEACE) go to their rich people cabin to…

  • Powder

    Powder

    "It’s not like I don’t know the terrible ramifications of my actions,” he says. ”I’ve been very upfront with the family. I’ve been very upfront with everybody about what happened. I’ve done my time. I’ve paid restitution. I’ve done everything possible.”"

    Let's be fair, he DID serve time and has to live branded with a metaphorical Scarlet Letter for the rest of his life. True, he only served 15-months of a 4 year sentence but still he served. The social…

  • Avatar

    Avatar

    No other movie sends people into a rage when you say you like it or even just going to go see it than this one. I like it and even I'm getting angry that I like it and saw it again.

    [flips table in rage]

  • Das Boot

    Das Boot

    ★★★★★

    Like THE WIND RISES, I don't like that the movie never turns to the camera to let me know the protagonists are on the wrong side of history. Because the movie assumes I am an adult and know about World War II, I'm just going to assume it's pro-Nazi like how THE WIND RISES is pro-Japan in World War II.

    Like THE WIND RISES, other than that it's probably a masterpiece.

  • Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf

    Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf

    Shaggy has a cute girlfirend and the vampire lady implies she finds Shaggy f---able. I cannot get behind that and it took me out of the movie.

  • The Howling

    The Howling

    ★★★★

    Between this and the INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS remake, genre filmmakers really hated new wave-types in the late 70s/early 80s.

  • Pearl Harbor

    Pearl Harbor

    There's a montage of sorts after the attack that is more emotional than anything else in the movie. Really brings home all of Bay's strengths and weaknesses.

    Three hours of characters before, during, and after the Pearl Harbor attack and only thing that emotionally lands is a dialogue-less montage of the immediate after math featuring none of the characters through out and instead basically extras. That random guy picking up the dog that somehow survived and hugging it hits harder…

  • The Incredible, Indelible, Magical, Physical, Mystery Tour

    The Incredible, Indelible, Magical, Physical, Mystery Tour

    ★★★★★

    A creepy yellow bouncing sack kidnaps two children and shows them their uncle slowly dying from the inside.

    This trippy horror show was supposedly an edutainment special to learn kids about biology and eating healthy. Maybe that's what was intended but instead it teaches us about how we're all gonna die and are destined to die. No shit, the little girl character even has a musical number about how she's having an existential crisis.

    Instead of teaching us to be…

  • Pearl

    Pearl

    ★★★★★

    #scorsesewasright

    To find out, Martin Scorsese (BAD) has good taste. Unfortunately, that makes it elevated horror by default (same for VICE SQUAD and SPIDER-MAN 1 & 2 sadly).

    But if you can get over that this movie is pretty friggin' great. It's a character drama of a very flawed woman but doesn't pretend it's some metaphor for grief or something and gives genre fans some cheap trills. Therefore, everyone should be happy: adults who want a drama about people and kids who want to see messed up stuff.