i rate every movie 5 stars & write my reviews while crying to the credits.

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Recent reviews

  • The Reluctant Debutante

    The Reluctant Debutante


    trying to guess if rex harrison's motivating factor in each scene was his daughter's wellbeing or getting another drink was a drawing room play by itself. i've never had a brandy and soda but he orders it at in one point during this movie and i can only assume it tastes like what this movie felt like: nothing groundbreaking in terms of substance, sure, but utterly sparkling. dare i say... georgiecore even? idk. i just think my entire maslow's hierarchy…

  • The Hustler

    The Hustler


    the queen's gambit but it's a boy

Popular reviews

  • Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

    Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason


    i like colin firth the best when he is smiling & looking surprised that the universe would afford him a small moment of joy in his otherwise dreary english existence

  • Framing Britney Spears

    Framing Britney Spears


    father (pejorative)

    i am making a joke review instead of writing 1000 words on the significance of britney to me & so many others and how upsetting & oddly personal it feels to see her life & career taken out of her control ❤️