Gh0stman has written 257 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Thor



    It's been awhile since I've seen this one, probably almost a decade. It's about as good as I remember it to be, which means it's kind of terrible. The 'fish out of water' comedy is handled clumsily and the Asgard royal court drama is badly done. As a result, Thor sits very awkwardly between a dramatic LOTR-esque high fantasy epic that has ambitions of prestige and a self-parody. The saving grace that keeps it from being unwatchable is Hemsworth's charismatic performance and Hiddleston's cunning Loki, who is a well-conceived villain here and later on.

  • Bloodsport



    Pretty bad but Van Damme & company gift the movie with a nutty tongue-in-cheek quality that makes it watchable. The fight scenes are dull and amateurish in their staging and the production value is often wasted. Still, I can see why this was Van Damme's breakout movie. He has the obvious makings of a movie star here. One can see the potential.

  • Mulan



    Underwhelming and uninspired, Mulan (2020) is a real disappointment. The cast is game, the photography is pretty, the sets are big, but the film isn't able to competently tell a story. Running two hours long, somehow the film has less character development and character building moments than its ninety minute, animated musical counterpart. Right when it seems to get going, it starts to end. There's something about the generation of filmmakers who are forty to fifty-five in America that seem…

  • The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen


    A total trainwreck but also an intriguing one. The beginning isn't bad, you can see the movie it could've been but it does indeed get worse and worse. It's a shame this is Sean Connery's last movie before his retirement, he had so many more great roles in him. Maybe he could've been a Transformer or in the MCU. I'm joking but in all honesty, he'd fit right in.

  • The Fall

    The Fall


    Too vague and de-centered to actually be an effective piece of art. Nobody knows the context of the actions transpiring. For all we know, it could be Hitler that the masked mob throws down in that hole. While that's obviously an extreme example, I do think the film refuses to answer anything because the filmmakers don't have any clear idea of what they are depicting and why. If they did, it wouldn't be so undefined.

  • Crocodile



    Objectively bad but also kind of entertaining? Its characters are unforgivably vapid and shitty and the story is as barebones as its titular creature's victims. The crocodile in question is also created by hilariously terrible CGI, even by 2000's standards. The film is never scary for a moment and gets progressively dumber as it goes on. It's bad but I also have to admit I was never bored which automatically makes it a better Gator film than Lake Placid. Still, if you're watching this, then you probably don't have anything better to do with your time.

  • Frightmare



    Frightmare is a middling horror film that has some good laughs and good kills but doesn't build up to much. For a Troma film it feels subdued, as if the filmmakers were trying to be highbrow with the material. Like the Scream movies, one wishes the film was either wackier or more hardcore. It can't make up its mind.

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

    The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


    The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a film that's easy on the eyes but often misbegotten. Its production is highly impressive, one can easily see the scope of its design and the care put into its every detail, but the narrative is uneven and unconvincing. Fincher's film strives to say something about the transient nature of time and the inherent regrets of a human life, much like Welles' two films: Citizen Kane and the Magnificent Ambersons'. It's a film…

  • The Grand Bizarre

    The Grand Bizarre


    While admittedly pretty and recurrently stimulating in a solely visual way, Jodie Mack's The Grand Bizarre ends up becoming an overlong endurance test with the very depth of its prominently featured textiles. I think Jodie Mack is a talented filmmaker, as evident by the sheer effort and observable creativity here, but her film is repetitive and shallow-minded. Notwithstanding a meager self-reflexivity, Mack's film is mainly preoccupied with reproducing an objectification of prized items, buying into a facade of hollow consumerism.…

  • Chaplin



    While the performance of Robert Downey Jr. as Chaplin is indeed predictably impressive, the film itself is like a simulacrum of the cliche of the Hollywood biopic. The film regurgitates a lot of information about Chaplin's life, his presumed politics, his love life, his family, his scandals, and of course his films but it never really draws any real conclusions about what any of it all means in the context of its story. A big problem is that there isn't…

  • Pearl Harbor

    Pearl Harbor


    It's been many years since I've seen this last and while it's better than I remember, Pearl Harbor is still a big washout of a war epic. Out of all the revisited Michael Bay works I've watched in the last couple months, this is definitely the weakest one and, interestingly enough, the only one where I thought accusations of extreme nationalism were justified. Bay definitely gives the movie his all as a director, his visuals are incredible and the love…

  • Aloha, Bobby and Rose

    Aloha, Bobby and Rose


    It starts off with promise, two attractive leads, a cool title, and a young night filled with potential but Aloha, Bobby and Rose runs out of steam pretty fast. It's like the filmmakers put a bunch of movie ideas into a blender and filmed all that were in vogue at the time. It's got the lovers on the lam quality of Bonnie and Clyde but without the danger. It's got the roaming nature of Two Lane Blacktop but without the…