Letterboxd — Your life in film

It has nothing to do with Christmas, or California really for most of it, and there's nothing romantic about lying to someone!!! Especially when they have a lot of trauma!!!! No thanks.

Manny and Leo are the only good thing about this.

tw/cw: N/A

Just not. Great. Like there's nothing inherently wrong with it but it just is not engaging in any way, and it sounds like someone tried to write dialogue for teenagers without knowing what they actually sound like.

tw/cw: Gaslighting/abusive family with the whole Cinderella angle

If you want glorifying the military and white saviorism while having a Black romantic lead for once to try to soften the blow....... yikes. It's too bad because Kat Graham IS really cute and good but :/ nah.

tw/cw: Nothing I guess

Unfortunately I watched this for Saxon, who immediately dies, and the rest is nowhere as cool as the poster would lead one to believe.

tw/cw: Lots of squirmy maggots

Man what the fuck was this movie, why did no animal have an accent that made sense for the country they'd be from, why did the Proboscis monkey just look like a man, just generally why??

Bob was the only good thing about it and the stars are for him.

tw/cw: Nothing except like. there's a weird joke about the pig needing to get her ass waxed????????? Which isn't really even a cw thing but just like why, again.

When I was promised a "mad scientist" I didn't want to see "scientist having a bout of mania because of stress in space" come on!! That's not what that means!!

The one whole woman in this could've had a slightly worse time of it, but everyone was still pretty shitty to her (although I do agree that she put literally everyone and everything at risk stowing away when space travel is generally calculated to the exact weight expected).

tw/cw: Nothing because nothing happens lmaoooo but some sexism

Another 'I watched this for John Saxon' film, this time with racism.

tw/cw: aforementioned racism, looking down on the natives for their beliefs, etc
maybe epilepsy warning I feel like there's a lot of flashing lights
sexism from one dickweed

This film was a strange mix of great effects and, as others have noted, some very giallo inspired aesthetic both visually and with the soundtrack, but the stilted dialogue and lack of character with any of them made it easy to lose track of what was going on through sheer disinterest. I came for John Saxon though, and there was that much.

tw/cw: body horror/gore/blood
needles

I would've noted this anyway but the point was really driven home finding out Chadwick Boseman died while I was watching this but: why were the only Black people in this antagonists?

On top of using a slur as a job title.

No thanks.

tw/cw: idk nothing much who cares just don't watch it

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.