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  • Simply Irresistible

    Simply Irresistible

    Simply Irresistible walked so Chef could confuse me culinarily and sexually. This movie should've been called "Soft-Shell Porn" and I will not stop emailing Sarah Michelle Geller until the problem is resolved and the prophecy has been fulfilled.

    Garbage Movie

  • Kicking & Screaming

    Kicking & Screaming

    ★★★½

    After an entire summer redoing my entire backyard by myself (including over 180 hand-tilled and laid rolls of sod, 30 patio stones releveled and repainted, one 32 foot garden bed and more mulch than should be conceivable to mankind as a whole) I successfully set up a wonderful little backyard projector system to really enjoy the fruits of labour. The film, chosen by my family, to christen this new professional set up was this 2005 Will Ferell cinematic experience in…

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  • Endings, Beginnings

    Endings, Beginnings

    Top 3 actual thoughts had while watching this:

    1. I don't know if the director’s parents we’re murdered at the hands of tripods and wide shots or smt but he clearly has some unresolved issues there.

    2. The two awful identical white boys must’ve been payed at SAG scale for this because the rest of the film’s budget was purely devoted to comically large quantities of cigarettes and bouquet‘ed Christmas lights because indie.

    3. Whoever was in charge of choosing…

  • Eraserhead

    Eraserhead

    ★★★★½

    10 minutes into the film my father walked into my room, said “YOURE watching ERASERHEAD. TONIGHT?!?! Shiiiiiit. Goodnight I guess?” in a worrisome tone then left. 

    AHHHHH THE UNPLANNED CINEMATIC PARRALELLS!!!!!!!!! 


    A real good fucked up masterpiece.