Tenet ★★★½

this review is verbatim copy pasted demented texts I sprayed off to some of my friends after Tenet ended last night, and that I still agree with after rewatching this morning:

“This movie rocks my socks baby! Gonna watch this 100 times! Only problem is it makes too much sense”

“Also this is the only movie where every review that’s like “protagonist and Neil are boyfriends 🥰😍” is 100% accurate”

“I love breaking up my world destroying algorithm into 9 pieces”

“JDW is so cool as a remorseless murderer saying bond quotes to convince himself he’s a good guy That’s why the anti charisma works”

“Christopher Nolan reading the potterpedia entry for horcruxes and beginning to levitate above his chair”

“I am so thankful that Nolan allows people who are insecure about being stupid to enjoy stupid movies”

“He’s not a vulgar auteur because he’s not sneering at you. Every Nolan film is a supreme act of benevolence”

“Every Nolan movie is this (picture of “oh man... he’s just like me meme with joker on the screen) but the guy on the screen is NOLAN. You’re smart enough to figure it out! You practically made the movie! The beauty of Nolan isn’t that it’s so hard to understand but it’s so hard to realize how EASY it is to understand. It’s a magic trick he lets you do yourself! You’re somehow convinced you’re the only one in the theater to figure it out“

“He’s the true heir to Spielberg and Cameron. The last populist filmmaker”

“Damn I invented an “algorithm” that can utterly end existence as we know it. I suppose the right thing to do would be to separate it into 9 roughly equal sized lego pieces and make a treasure map”

“Taika Waititi: be sure to stay after the credits to get a redemption code for a free baby yoda keychain...

...Christopher Nolan holding a glowing orb of pure serotonin: “take it, it’s yours. It’s always belonged to you.”

“getting misty eyed thinking about my man Christopher Nolan making the dumbest movies imaginable just to make us feel nice and smart”

“Seriously though is it not gratifying on some level to watch a movie made to intentionally troll cinema sins”

“Please don’t screenshot this as evidence when I self immolate in downtown Disney”

“Wow, guess the jokes on me here: I seem to have created a metallic magic wand that has the power to somehow reverse the stream of time and end existence as we know it. So now it seems like I’ll need to go ahead and divide it up so it cannot be used. How many component parts should I create to make sure it has the least chance of being reassembled? I think nine should be plenty.”

Tenet fucking rules dude

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