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  • Au Hasard Balthazar

    Au Hasard Balthazar

    ★★★★

    Apparently in France there is a sort of “take a penny, leave a penny” arrangement when it comes to donkeys.

  • The Room

    The Room

    This is a one-star review that is also somehow a five-star review.

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  • Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

    Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

    ½

    Perhaps the most oppressively unfunny movie I have ever seen.

    I feel like I have made a lot of good decisions in my life. Watching this is not one of them.

    This movie may be the point where historians pinpoint the start of the Great American Decline.

    This movie is disturbingly homo- and transphobic by even 1994 standards.

    But hey, Hector Salamaca makes a cameo, so that’s cool I guess.

  • The Star Wars Holiday Special

    The Star Wars Holiday Special

    ★½

    Plus one star for the only depiction of Boba Fett acting competently.

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  • All the President's Men

    All the President's Men

    ★★★★½

    "FAKE NEWS!" - Richard M. Nixon

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★★½

    First impression: It is fun, overstuffed, extremely moving in moments, generally very messy, intermittently brilliant, frequently poorly lit, and extremely unpolished. But I got the moment I needed, so I’m happy.

    On rewatch: When unshackled from the weight of expectations and the contention surrounding this movie and The Last Jedi, the viewing experience was much improved on a repeat visit. I still believe this film would have benefited from another year of development, but the initial reviews have been overly…