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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    delicious but...

    💥😡😈WHERE was the choreography?????😈😡💥
    there were more scenes dedicated to 'suitcase placement' than dance!! 🤦🏻
    excuse me Mr Agento:
    this is not the 🏨Cornell School of Hotel Management🏨...
    this is the prestigious 💃🏼Tanz Dance Akademie💃🏼!!!
    and we don't even get a scary pas de deux as a finale???? 🤔🤔
    ✨✨NEWS FLASH✨✨
    i would have 💀DIED💀 to see Helena Markos' crusty foot fly off and smack Suzy in the face after a double pirouette...⚰️⚰️⚰️
    🦇the bat danced more than…

  • Oldboy

    Oldboy

    ★★★★

    evil version of Amélie (2001)

    think about it:
    -lead with iconic mid-length choppy haircut
    -celebration of the colors green and red
    -bike sequence with jaunty waltz
    -me seriously wondering if the early 2000s are worth nostalgia

    obviously horrendous - impressively structured in that all the things i hated about the first half proved to be intentional (who knows if that is worth celebrating) - Yoo Ji-tae is so hot

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  • Phantom of the Paradise

    Phantom of the Paradise

    ★★★★★

    me: (hopped up on pills, trapped in a bricked off studio, belligerently thinkpiecing) the character of Beef illuminates the futility of performed masculinity and is a venerable queer elder who must be-
    *teeth fall out*

  • Paprika

    Paprika

    ★★★★

    one of my first favorite movies.... but not anymore!!! sorry, featuring a frog with a drum is no longer enough

    still... perfect-for-facebook-cover-photos animation, 'girl in the byakkoya' should play twice a night in any club, and the final moments making me cry - satoshi kon had so many hits...