• The Menu

    The Menu

    ★★★★

    I am seeking investors to buy a private island and open a *VERY SPECIAL* restaurant, please leave inquiries below.

    Thank You,
    Management

  • Prey for the Devil

    Prey for the Devil

    ★★

    "thoughts and prayers!"

  • The Pale Blue Eye

    The Pale Blue Eye

    ★★½

    This train starts off strong, then slowly starts falling apart, then the train goes on to long, then the train throws you a curve that it didnt need, and the entire train and everyone you meet on the train just blends together, and Christian Bale might be to good for this kind of train, and your like "maybe I should have taken another train".

    *this review is not about a train*

  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    ★★★★★

    "no ticket"

  • Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin

    Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin

    ★★★

    This is movie is far to coherent, with clear effort put in to be a Paranormal Activity sequel.

  • Tropic Thunder

    Tropic Thunder

    ★★★★

    “I don’t read the script. The script reads me.” – Kirk Lazarus

  • Blade Runner

    Blade Runner

    ★★★★★

    I like their dystopian future better then ours, they get cyber pyramid buildings and flying cars, we're gonna end up with never ending suburbs, no water, and the entire rain forest is just gonna be a amazon warehouse.

  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

    National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

    ★★★★★

    Clark Griswold has definitely yelled racial slurs while in a mall restaurant.

  • Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

    Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

    ★★★★

    When the revolution comes, people who call themselves "disruptors" will be the first against the wall.

  • Violent Night

    Violent Night

    ★★★½

    ⚡️BUY ME BONESTORM OR GO TO HELL⚡️

  • Home Alone

    Home Alone

    ★★★★★

    In the future Uncle Frank would get big into Q anon, and his kids haven't really spoken to him in a couple of years.

  • Die Hard

    Die Hard

    ★★★★

    bUT Is it A CHrISTMas MoVIe?!