The Man Who Fell to Earth

A strange film about an alien, disguised as a youthful and thin David Bowie, who comes to Earth for a drink of water (wtf?). He becomes a wealthy tycoon by selling silver rings for $20 (wtf?). He longs to get home to his family, but a dream sequence seems to indicate that they've most likely died of dehydration. Nevertheless, he bootstraps a private space program so he can return to his home planet now that he's had his glass of water.

In the opening scene, he survives the plummet through our atmosphere, but soon thereafter he suffers a near-fatal nosebleed (wtf?) when a hotel elevator goes too fast to the 5th floor for him to acclimatise (wtf?). He shacks up with the annoying, alcoholic hotel porter who rescues him from the elevator catastrophe, and soon he also turns to booze.

After that, it gets a little hard to follow. Something about Bernie Casey from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure... He has a nice pool and a beautiful wife, but there's no real clue as to why he's in the film. The music indicates that he's somehow threatening, but he always seems like quite a nice guy to me.

There's a long sequence towards the end where Bowie stirs his drink with a large revolver, then sucks the drips off the end of it before rubbing his girlfriend's tender parts with the barrel. Then he fires the gun straight at her head, after a protracted and sadistic monologue about how he's going to kill her. She doesn't die, apparently because he was just joking. There's an extended, trippy scene of the two of them shooting the shit out of each other with blanks. I'm not sure I followed the symbolism.

Then the film ends, and I'm dumbstruck. What. The. Fuck? What happened? Who was that guy with the thing? What were those rings he was selling? What was all that crap about X-rays?

This film is not worth the investment of 2 hours of your time, even if you're dying to see Bowie's cock (wtf?)