• Brawl in Cell Block 99

    Brawl in Cell Block 99

    ★★★★

    The asian guy's face after it was dragged across concrete looked like it was from They Live.

  • The Mechanic

    The Mechanic

    ★★★★½

    Arthur Bishop's house is bar none the greatest bachelor pad in cinematic history. Located in the hills above West Hollywood, it was built in the 50s by Hollywood playboy Hal Braxton Hayes who included a nuclear fallout shelter accessible only from jumping into the pool and swimming through a tunnel. It has unfortunately been updated beyond recognition in the decades since, so The Mechanic is the only historical document left of its original splendor.

  • Thinner

    Thinner

    ★★★½

    Great feature-length Tales from the Crypt episode. Still better than Drag Me to Hell. Prime 90s horror.

  • Terminator: Dark Fate

    Terminator: Dark Fate

    Leprechaun has a better catalog of sequels than Terminator.

    After the so-bad-it's-still-mostly-bad Terminator Genisys, Skydance gives us this celluloid abomination. The opening 20 minutes is a master class in how to put an audience asleep with mindless, stakes-free action. The scene on the beach in Cabo is the most unintentionally funny moment in the series and I still can't believe it wasn't a dream sequence.

  • Licence to Kill

    Licence to Kill

    ★★★½

    Straight up sleazefest. Might as well be a Death Wish sequel. Probably my favorite Bond film.

  • Almost Famous

    Almost Famous

    ★★★½

    It's a great film but I've never really clicked with it, maybe because Fugit is just too much of a doof and Kate Hudson is not interesting.

  • Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

    Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

    Don't let the true awfulness of this film obscure that actually Oliver Stone has always been a talent-less hack.

  • Ocean's Eleven

    Ocean's Eleven

    ★½

    A guilty pleasure for boring people.

  • Wall Street

    Wall Street

    ★★½

    Laughably dated, a simplistic morality tale divorced from reality save for the retro stock market floor location. Oliver Stone made Platoon and Natural Born Killers yet can't fathom evil on even the smallest scale. Extra star for Talking Heads. Hard to watch Charlie Sheen now that we know he raped Corey Haim on the set of Lucas.

  • BLACKPINK: Light Up the Sky

    BLACKPINK: Light Up the Sky

    ★½

    There's a compelling documentary to be made about the KPOP factories that churn out these generic groups and all the young performers who get chewed up and spit out by them but unfortunately this isn't it. Light Up the Sky is a feature-length press release that is easy on the eyes but leaves you knowing less about the subjects than when you started.

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    Disliked this on a really visceral level. Everything in it screamed both wannabe auteur, and written and directed by men. It's further diminished when put next to the far superior dance-horror of Climax.

  • Halloween II

    Halloween II

    ★★★★

    It's insane how much better this is than Rob Zombie's first Halloween attempt. Hell, better than the rest of his oeuvre to date. It's so incredibly focused on Laurie's ptsd and parallels with her brother Michael that there is no room for Zombie's usual excesses and diversions. The theatrical cut is clearly superior to the unrated version so it's a shame only the latter is present on the blu ray box set (or blu ray at all in the USA).