It may use the whole Agatha Christie inspired defence, but it’s directly taking from Knives Out 2. Just as predictable too, but less social commentary.
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A Deadly Invitation 2023
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Killers of the Flower Moon 2023
“Can you spot the wolves in this picture?”
Having read the book, I can wholeheartedly say this would have made for a much better limited series. Yes, I’m on that side of the debate, and no, it has nothing to do with the 3.5hr runtime. That might have helped with the very stale final hour where the procedural court hearings seem to get glossed over through regardless of bringing in big name actors for bit parts. Brace yourself for this,…
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Hospital Massacre 1981
“No checkup is ever just a simple formality.”
While Barbi Benton is no Nurse Karen, Hospital Massacre AKA X-Ray does serve as a nice hospital set slasher companion piece to Halloween 2. Very heavy on the sleaze—particularly an unsubtle hands-on medical checkup—shockingly lite on the creative kills, and all very odd. I guess you could call this a holiday slasher, as it is circled around Valentine’s Day?
—FIRST COME FIRST SERVE (4 Mutuals)
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Dark Harvest 2023
“There are no stop signs on The Black Road!”
Little Trick r Treat Sam has hit puberty, now becoming Sawtooth Jack with quite the flammin’ hunger. Plenty of comparisons to Hunger Games and Maze Runner will be made, but this YA book was written before both vastly more popular titles. Small 50s town relies on an annual tradition of sending out their older graduating teens to hunt down, kill, and consume a supernatural pumpkin scarecrow that is grown and released…
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Bloody Hell 2020
“Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of an American. Be he alive or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”
A Finnish-set hidden gem horror action comedy for those who like You’re Next, Feast, Ready or Not, The Voices, and Tommy Wirkola. A very fun mostly single location bloody time I went into blind on friend’s strong recommendation, and was all the better for it. I’m not very familiar with Ben O’Toole, but he…
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Destroyer 1988
“I thought I was working with actors, not sex offenders!”
Is there an official title given to the subgenre of horror films that involve a serial killer/rapist who is sent to the electric chair but somehow survives by supernatural means to haunt and kill those who put him away? Because that’s two I’ve done this week, unplanned, and I can think of a handful more in the past. Not very fun, lacking on the sleaze, doesn’t have a captivating final…
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The Horror Show 1989
“Never sneak up on a man when he's blasting Metallica!”
Plays off like a Nightmare on Elm Street entry set in the suburbs from a veteran detective’s perspective. It’s a shame we have never gotten a film with Lance Henriksen opposite or with Nic Cage, because the amount of naturally self-producing cocaine these two must have is insane. Henriksen seems to actually be an a head-to-head match against 80s character actor Brion James here; grizzled family man cop vs crazed…
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Curfew 1989
“Did you know that in every firing squad, there’s one rifleman loaded with a blank? It’s considered a humane measure, to keep a lingering possibility that the rifleman didn’t kill.”
From the director of 13 Going on 30 and Charlotte’s Web, we get an 80s sleaze Funny Games meets Cape Fear, with a bit of camp for good fun. Having said that, it does lean a little more into the serious side. Has a teen Kyle Richards, whom I didn’t know was in quite a bit of movies.
—FIRST COME FIRST SERVE (3 Mutuals)
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Return to Horror High 1987
“Must be shooting some gory scenes; I’ve never seen such a mess!”
I’m genuinely shocked this meta campus slasher comedy isn’t brought up more when discussions of Scream, Cabin in the Woods, and Behind the Mask come up. I only have six mutuals with this logged; none of which have anything written for it. It has nothing to do with 1973 Horror High, but it does have a very young George Clooney in his third film role. Without spoiling any…
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Penance Lane 2020
- “I thought it was what’s on the inside that matters.”
- “We’re about to find out!”A Rob Zombie Halloween reunion between his iteration of Michael and Laurie, alongside a man of the cloth Pa Kent. I am not a WWE viewer, so none of the names associated with it mean anything to me, thus nullifying any bias there. It’s a thrice-removed schlocky b-movie cousin of Barbarian that wasn’t given any allowance. I have seen far worse, but I still do not recommend it.
—FIRST COME FIRST SERVE (2 Mutuals)