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  • Assassination Nation

    Assassination Nation

    ★★

    Fooled me once, shame on you. Fooled me again...

    I can’t believe that after last night’s viewing of the wretched Tragedy Girls I still went ahead and watched this. F*ck me, I’m dumb. At least this is shot/lit better. But there’s so much wrong with this flick I can’t even formulate a thought to begin with. My senses have been pulverized.

  • Tragedy Girls

    Tragedy Girls

    I stopped this movie with 43 mins left because I was bored as hell. But since it was already 1130p and I didn’t want to start anything else, I said eff it and started it back up. 

    I really wish I wouldn’t have. What an ugly, shitty movie. The film has no sense of pacing, tone, or coherence. It doesn’t understand what works about any of the genres it’s trying to ape. Comedy, satire, true crime, horror—failure all across the…

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  • Split

    Split

    ★★★★★

    Throughout the movie:

    "Oh, yea, this is pretty good. Pacing is a little off in parts, but I'm in. I'd give it maybe 3.5 stars, possibly 4 if I'm feeling generous."

    Last 30 seconds:

    "Here, take all the stars. Take them. Just shut up and take them. All the stars ever."

  • You're Next

    You're Next

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I am not really a fan of the whole "intruders kill and torture family" thing. In fact, I'm generally repulsed by it. But this was getting good buzz and the masks are kinda quirky and cool - almost in a "we're trying too hard" kind of way, which made me think the filmmakers might be going a bit less serious with this than other "torture-porn" exercises. And as a fan of general horror, (and being too ill with a killer…