Is it just me, or do satanists seem to have the best film orgies?
And I must say, after viewing Satan’s Blood, Spanish satanic orgies are the best satanic orgies.
Why?
1. Their orgies come after (what looks to be) a very relaxing, fully nude group massage
2. The massage lotions are stored in a hollowed out human skull and you must dig it out with your fingers
It’s the little things Spanish satanists do to make you feel comfortable, y’know?
Brandon Cronenberg is working some things out.
His latest focuses on an author named James (Skarsgard), who’s on vacation with his wife at an exclusive, 1%’ers resort in the fictional country of Li Tolqa. James has a wicked case of writer’s block, a wife who derives pleasure from roasting him in front of strangers, and a rather sizable inferiority complex. He finds himself something like a muse in Gabi (Goth, who continues her hot streak) at the resort and things…
Kevin Smith meant the world to me as I was growing up in the nineties. His comedy is tailor made for young males in their teens and early twenties and as a burgeoning cinephile, I could overlook (or not realize) the limitations he had as a filmmaker.
There were a number of similarities between his characters and my group of friends. We worked at movie theaters* instead of a Quick Stop or in fast food but we spent a ton…
I’d let Parker Posey and Joey Lauren Adams dump flour and spray ketchup and mustard on me while I suck on a pacifier. Sounds like an amazing way to celebrate the last day of school. A perfect way to celebrate anything, really.
I love the throwaway gag of Benny (the great Cole Hauser) trying to stand up at the conclusion of the beer bust only to immediately sit back down in a drunken stupor. The look on his face is…
Being a life-long fan of Keanu, I’ve gotten into a heaping spoonful of debates over the quality of his acting. Often times, other cinephiles would go apoplectic after I would agree with them that he’s not a good actor, only to quickly pull the rug out from under them by saying he’s a great actor. Their faces would contort as they tried to make sense of what I said and it always made me smile.
Keanu’s early roles in films…
This may be a somewhat controversial opinion but I don’t think there will ever be a song better suited for a montage than Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy”
An extra half star for the cave woman boob prints on the sliding glass door.
