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  • The Dark Knight

    The Dark Knight

    ★★★★½

    “......*sigh*....hi

    is still the funniest line delivery in all of činémà. Heath was a gift.

  • The Chumscrubber

    The Chumscrubber

    ★½

    This movie is a damn mess but so is my mental health so I watched it all the way through, wondering if my teenage self was wrong about it. 

    It has a lot of good-on-paper moments, but in the end the best thing about this movie is Glenn Close passive aggressively telling all her friends/neighbors that “in no way whatsoever do I blame you for my son’s death” lol the savage bitch.

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  • Elle

    Elle

    ★★★★½

    Against my better judgement, you're all about to read one of the most personal things I've written. Because why not? It's much easier to say these things to a bunch of people you've never met, after all.

    After Michéle is assaulted (the first time), she cleans the broken dishes off the floor, throws away the dress she was wearing, takes a bubble bath, and orders sushi.

    After I was assaulted, I asked him to drive me back to my dorm,…

  • The Witch

    The Witch

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    But is there really a witch?, I thought, after first reading about this film over a year ago. I was mostly expecting this to be an ambiguous tale where the titular evil-doer was metaphorical, an approach that's not unfamiliar to arthouse films of today. But my inner darkness was absolutely delighted to discover this was not the case.

    A mere 10 minutes in (maybe, I was too entranced to look at my watch) and we're witness to the stringy-haired, naked…