• Children of the Corn

    Children of the Corn

    ★★

    "Obnoxious climate change children of the CGI corn".
    As it was shelved for three years, you know you might have a stinker on your hands.

    The 11th "Children of the Corn" film squeezed from a very short story by Stephen King. These films entertained me up until the fourth movie because they merely focused on creative death sequences either by the hands of the children or exuberant copies of "The Omen" accidents (including Omen-style music). They knew they were low…

  • Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

    Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

    ½

    Poor Eeyore and audiences expecting to be somewhat mildly entertained.

    It's really depressing to realize this abomination had as wide as a theatrical release as it did, while other independent movies worthy of your time are dumped in the back corners of streaming algorithms. For every social trending "Terrifier 2 (2022)", there'll sadly be 10 social trending Winnie the Pooh's.

    The concept had potential on paper with the 100 Acre Forest creatures suffering strong psychotic abandonment issues after Christopher Robinson…

  • Thief

    Thief

    ★★★★★

    Watched the Director's Cut Arrow Video Blu-ray.

    Frank (James Caan) is a professional thief wishing to retire and start his constructed life after doing time for a decade. Together with his crew, consisting of Barry (James Belushi) and Boreksco (Gavin MacFadyen), he agrees to work together with mob boss Leo (Robert Prosky) for one last big job.

    Let this sink in for a while: this masterpiece in neo-noir crime cinema is the directorial debut of Michael Mann. A film that's…

  • Zillion

    Zillion

    ★★★½

    The second of two semi biopics I watched this weekend with elements from real life combined with fictional romanticization and in the case of "Zillion", an epic suspension of disbelief is essentially required yet delivered a way more entertaining film than "The Fabelmans (2022)".

    It's a Flemish production by director Robin Pront, trying to evoke American filmmaking grandeur and almost pulling it off.
    Often quoted as the Flemish "The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)", yet I felt it had more…

  • The Fabelmans

    The Fabelmans

    ★★½

    The first of two semi biopics I watched this weekend with elements from real life combined with fictional romanticization. This very much is the story of young Steven Spielberg, but made as a way to exorcise his inner demons (and dividing audiences). A very personal film that focused less on what interested me, his passion and road to becoming a legendary filmmaker, but more on the misery porn Spielberg family dynamic which I wished would rather be a shorter part…

  • Unicorn Wars

    Unicorn Wars

    ★★★

    So you thought animated feature "Watership Down (1978)" was bleak, depressing and disturbing? Compared to the Spanish "Unicorn Wars (2022)", directed by Alberto Vázquez, that's a walk in the park.

    A colorful animated film with unicorns and cuddly teddybears that could easily fit among "unsuitable for life" titles like "Man Behind the Sun (1988)", "Come and See (1985)" and "Martyrs (2008)".
    It's incredibly bleak, depressing, nihilistic and misanthropic without an ounce of humour or a breather. So please, DON'T show…

  • Cocaine Bear

    Cocaine Bear

    ★★★½

    The carnage of Pablo Escobear.

    After seeing the viral trailer, I was set up for disappointment as it felt like it was trying too hard to be a constructed "so-bad-it's-good" film, much in the vein of "Snakes on a Plane (2006)" which could never live up to the hype surrounding its premise.

    I'm glad the trailer didn't do the film any justice as it's more like Jim Jarmusch taking a "crack" at it as a follow-up to the much maligned…

  • Invasion of the Bee Girls

    Invasion of the Bee Girls

    ★★

    Watched at BUTplugged #10 on a beat-up uber-grindhoused color-faded 16mm print with an "Angry Red Planet (1959)"-look, that looked like it would die on us any minute. It initially did but our superhero projectionist came to the rescue, used his super glue powers and saved the screening. Luckily there was a secret backup movie in case the film print would permanently give up. That was basically all the suspense of the night as the film itself was quite a chore…

  • Prey for the Devil

    Prey for the Devil

    ★★½

    A middle of the road exorcism flick that's not particularly terrible, yet its bags of tricks have been played out after the first act, with the most spectacular exorcism happening very early into the film with the finale feeling like a predictable checklist.

    This is for easy impressionable teens who're startled by LOUD jump scares, disformed CGI faces and people getting thrown around like dummies. It's also fairly safe with its PG-13 rating never allowing the rollercoaster scares to go…

  • Red Spell Spells Red

    Red Spell Spells Red

    ★★★★

    Watched the uncut Blu-ray from new boutique label Error 4444.

    Ow my, now we're talking some nasty Hong Kong CAT III extremities after the rather tame "Centipede Horror (1982)". This definitely delivered the black magic goods with gory murders channeling a highly energetic Sam Raimi "Evil Dead" vibe.
    Not only that, director Titus Ho had the gal to outright steal Jerry Goldsmith's music from "The Omen (1976)" and "First Blood (1982)". And I don't mean a small resemblance, no it…

  • Centipede Horror

    Centipede Horror

    ★★★

    Watched the uncut Blu-ray from new boutique label Error 4444.

    Moral of this film (or lack thereof): Don't travel to South East Asia, it's filled with nasty evil priests putting curses on people from past misdeeds done by passed away relatives who use centipedes as a means of exacting vengeful karma.

    Not the all-out creature feature I expected with the centipedes only appearing during the opening and final act with a rather dull middle part.
    But it's definitely not without…

  • Black Swan

    Black Swan

    ★★★★

    "Requiem for a ballet dream", a transformative experience.

    After hearing Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake" in "Massage Parlor Murders (1974)", I was reminded of the fact that I still haven't seen "Black Swan". Time to scatch this off my watchlist.

    Fits perfectly in a row of psychological horror/ thrillers the likes of "Angel Heart (1987)", "Perfect Blue (1997)","Jacob's Ladder (1990)" and cautionary tales like "Starry Eyes (2014)" and "The Neon Demon (2016)".
    Where "Starry Eyes" and "The Neon Demon" dealt respectively with…