There's a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-D
I'm laughing at you, you're laughing at me
There's a room of shadows that gets so dark, brother
It's easy for two people to lose each other
In this tunnel of love

A deliberate choice of spiral-inducing masochism on the eve of my 30th birthday. A lesson (reminder) in the chaotic okay-ness of feeling your feelings instead of trying to explain them—to others, to yourself—or, maybe, explaining your way out of them. It doesn’t always have to be right and it doesn’t always have to not hurt (who started that rumor?). We owe it to ourselves to not hold ourselves hostage to the owing of things to other people when we don’t even know who’s looking back at us in the mirror and what that reflection wants or thinks or feels for themselves. You can’t feel good without knowing what bad is and the pressure of equating “not feeling bad” with “doing it right” only serves to keep us in the red. We wouldn’t be anywhere or have anything without the contrast, so maybe the only thing that makes someone the worst person in the world is not fucking up.