• The Amityville Asylum

    The Amityville Asylum

    β˜…

    Chekov's cleaning products . Don't make me sit through a cleaning induction and then not even sizzle someone's face off with concrete cleaner ! I did enjoy the piano jingle that came with every reveal. I did not enjoy that British man's ponytail or the girl pronouncing it a-midi-ville. They can drop down dead.

  • The Amityville Haunting

    The Amityville Haunting

    β˜…

    The way the opening text is wrong really sets the tone of the movie. That boy might actually be the worst actor i have ever had the misfortune to witness , but at least the film is hysterically funny bad.

  • The Amityville Horror

    The Amityville Horror

    β˜…β˜…

    It's all modern horror jumpscares, 'creepy' ghosts, and loud discordant music, none of the classic body horror or gross black sludge that makes the earlier films good.

  • Amityville: Dollhouse

    Amityville: Dollhouse

    β˜…β˜…Β½

    Tobias what is this?
    hUsKS !

    Stop drop and roll you silly bitch !

  • Amityville: A New Generation

    Amityville: A New Generation

    β˜…Β½

    Come back here ! I'm your landlord !

    Scariest declaration in horror yet. Anyway, I didn't like this one, the characters were so unlikeable, none of them had any dimension to them whatsoever they were just boring. And there was no horror to the film at all, only one or two brief flashes of monster faces. Maybe if knockoff jake gyllenhall had gone on a killing spree it would've been salvaged, but alas. Waste of time.

  • Amityville 1992: It's About Time

    Amityville 1992: It's About Time

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    In a just world me and rusty would be besties

  • The Amityville Curse

    The Amityville Curse

    β˜…β˜…

    Why are psychologists always so annoying ? He's a realistic portrayal I'll give them that. Two stars because the end part had a bit of cool stuff but overall the story and characters were really lame and the film was boring. Not even one laugh out of me either.

  • Amityville: The Evil Escapes

    Amityville: The Evil Escapes

    β˜…β˜…β˜…

    Now where do I get me a lamp like that ? Minus the evil demon, preferably.

    Nothing much scary even happens but I really liked the characters , its short and sweet with a little bit of horror.

  • Amityville 3-D

    Amityville 3-D

    β˜…β˜…

    They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could do 3D that they didn't stop to think if they should!

  • Amityville II: The Possession

    Amityville II: The Possession

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Amityville 2 : Electric Boogaloo

    It loses some momentum after you know what happens but once we got back into the house it was on again for reals. Ticking the 80s body horror boxes big time, really enjoyed this one.

  • The Amityville Horror

    The Amityville Horror

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…

    Imagine uncovering the gates to hell in your basement and then not moving house , in this economy it's understandable, but they have no excuse .

  • Alone in the Dark 2

    Alone in the Dark 2

    Β½

    After all these years I'm immune to witchcraft crap.

    1. Why'd they make another one of these ?
    2. Why did I watch it ?