Favorite films

  • The Beyond
  • The Grapes of Death
  • Baby Blood
  • The Deadly Spawn

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  • Tough Guys Don't Dance

    ★★★

  • The Dismembered

    ★★★

  • Evil Come Evil Go

    ★★½

  • Death by Love

    ★★½

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  • Tough Guys Don't Dance

    Tough Guys Don't Dance

    ★★★

    The titular tough guys do not dance instead they cuck each other, they swing & wife swap with each other, and most importantly they double cross, triple cross, quadruple cross each other for blurry coked out reasons while I'm over here straight mainlining the hilarious, dizzying dialogue.

    These are only a few of my favorite quotes:

    "My pussy hair was bright gold in high school until I went out and scorched it with the football team."

    "You're gonna puddle in your…

  • The Dismembered

    The Dismembered

    ★★★

    A slippery fast brain, a disembodied hand, a living dead girl and lots of local yokel ghosts bickering & bitchin in 63 disremembered minutes of dismemberment.

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  • The Seventh Seal

    The Seventh Seal

    ★★★★★

    The Seventh Seal brought me back to when I lived in Norway and we would pass around a large wooden bowl brimming with warm milk squeezed from the teet of either a goat or a cow, a large wooden bowl of strawberries circulating with it, we'd sit around and contemplate life, death, lutes, our bellies full of milk & berries while we poked and prodded swollen lymph nodes, mused about plague and denounced the burning of witches while the smell of…

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The eye in the sky concealing its hunger for our flesh in the comfort of a cloud, Nope...I do not wish to upgrade for more cloud storage. TMZ's helmet mimicking the hungry metal hole, gotta feed the machines, keep producing content, y'all!!!!!!!!! Tik-Tok-Boom! Please Like & Subscribe until you die!!!!