Suspiria ★½

Their magic wasn't strong enough, as the haggiest of hags it would take something much more powerful to forcibly bend my body at the altar of bizzaro Suspiria.

A rebellious remake that purposefully chose to do the opposite of the alchemy that made Dario Argento & Daria Nicolodi's film a masterpiece. Music: Clashing w/ corresponding scenes! Sets & Locations: Drab! Grey! Plot: L O A D E D! Politics: Absolutely a must, force feed it into their faces, that will give this movie *deep & bassy authoritative voice* substance.

p.s. As much as I love Tilda Swinton, at this point I'm only going to be impressed if I find out she played every single character in a film. In the case of this movie, it would have saved me from a few garbled/questionable performances.