Solo: A Star Wars Story ★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

The Disney movie model:
Step 1: hire exciting directors.
Step 2: fire exciting directors.
Step 3: take the bare bones of their vision and twist it into a paint-by-numbers, cliché-ridden, entirely forgettable shell of a blockbuster that audiences won't even exert the energy to hate.

Which isn't to say that I didn't enjoy parts of Solo. The Woody Harrelson/Thandie Newton relationship was short and sweet and Thandie blew herself up before any studio execs got a chance to ruin it. Plus, Donald Glover in fancy capes.