Annabelle

Annabelle ★★½

Maaaybe it wasn't the best idea to hand over the keys to your incredibly lucrative franchise to the guy who directed Mortal Kombat: Annihilation?

This is not a good movie, but I'd like to try and focus on the positives: there are precisely three good scares, several creepy shots of the titular demonic doll, a decently effective musical score, and a cast that feels like it could've really excelled if they hadn't been given such a boring, undercooked, and borderline racist script to work with.

The biggest problem - aside from the borderline racism, I mean - is that the entire film just feels so damned predictable. Everything you'll see here has already been done to death by better movies. It's hard to be scared, or even merely entertained, by something that feels so incredibly paint by numbers. Revisiting this one, I felt less like I was watching a movie and more like I was checking off a list of scares I've already seen ten times.

Overall, the movie isn't totally unwatchable, but it's so painfully mediocre that it's really only worth seeing once for completion's sake.