• Polyester

    Polyester

    ★★★★

    This is considered a comedy?

    This is the most depressing film I’ve ever watched.

  • Dancer in the Dark

    Dancer in the Dark

    ★★★★½

    Just as depressing and fucked up as I imagined a Lars Von Trier musical to be.

  • Asteroid City

    Asteroid City

    ★★★★

    While Asteroid City is definitely not Wes Andersons best work, it still has all the aspects of his past films that I love. 

    I hope his movies never change.

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★

    Cause I'm just Ken😢
    Anywhere else, I'd be a ten🔟
    Is it my destiny to live and die😭
    A life of blond fragility?👱
    I'm just Ken😩
    Where I see love, she sees a friend🍆
    What will it take for her to see👨🏼‍❤️‍👨🏼
    The man behind the tan and fight for me?🥲

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★

    Wow my performance as Ken in this movie was amazing. I am such a good actor.

  • Shadow of a Doubt

    Shadow of a Doubt

    ★★★★

    He definitely banged his niece.

  • The Flash

    The Flash

    ★★

    I’ve seen better CGI in pornos.

    Batman redeemed this as expected.

  • Beau Is Afraid

    Beau Is Afraid

    ★★★★½

    In competition for movie with best sex scene ever.

  • The Last Emperor

    The Last Emperor

    ★★½

    I honestly didn’t pay much attention to this but you can’t expect me to pay a lot of attention to this dull of a movie.

  • Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    ★★★★

    Never thought I’d see an animated comic book film be as good as this.

    Animation made me hard…

  • Cabaret

    Cabaret

    ★★★½

    1930s Germany seemed like such a fun time to be alive.

  • The Many Saints of Newark

    The Many Saints of Newark

    ★★½

    After finally finishing The Sopranos, which is possibly the best thing I’ve ever watched, I decided to watch this prequel… and it’s definitely disappointing.

    I didn’t expect this to be as good as the original show because... well there isn’t much out there that is better than it. But I at least expected a movie that added something to it story wise. It doesn’t do much of that at all as most of what we see we either already knew…