Call Me by Your Name

Call Me by Your Name ★★★★★

I don’t think there’s anything more beautiful, real, or brutal than the way Elio repeats, “Because I wanted you to know.”

Because I wanted you to know.

Loving someone is hard, whether it’s the butterflies you get in the beginning or the weight of the world you feel towards the end. I’ve realized through my relationship that love doesn’t make sense, and with my now 9 viewings of this film, that this movie doesn’t make sense to me either. I truly don’t understand, I could never understand, how Luca, Ivory, and the cast pulled this off. The feeling of love is so hard to replicate because everyone experiences it differently, but there’s something so universal about the looks Elio’s parents give eachother, or the way Elio repeats what he just said, just to make sure he believes it’s true. 

My mom and I talk about this film all the time, mostly because I can’t stop thinking about it, but also because I want to understand love. I want to understand what giving yourself to a person means, and what the fleeting moments of love really add up to. Is it all worth it? Are the short, beautiful memories of looking at the person you’re in love with worth the hours of agonizing pain when you’re not around them? Is the obsesssion normal? Is it all worth it in the end?

I’m not sure yet. But if this movie is making me feel like that answer is close. I will rewatch this until love feels gone, or at least until I stop crying.

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