Mean trick of Stranger Things is that Millie Bobby Brown never looks quite right with hair, but that’s only one of the strange dissonances in Damsel, a dreary and dispiritingly algorithmic high-fantasy programmer that fights its genially subversive premise (a princess betrayed by her betrothed into a Ready or Not-style face-off with a dragon) to a stalemate with its prolonged dialogue and seemingly AI-generated soundstage backdrops. The latest of these streaming action entries to evoke a video-game cutscene more than any of ifs contemporaries in the cinema, and it needs a far more confident star (not you, Shohreh Aghdashloo).
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Ricky Stanicky 2024
Not unenjoyable in fits and starts, especially with a genuinely gifted comedic actor like John Cena in play, but also about a decade out of date and entirely confused about whether it wants us to love or hate its three main characters, profoundly deceitful and detestable people who never stand to lose much of anything besides social standing within the broadly genial, who-cares contours of Farrelly’s filmmaking. Mostly feels like an excuse for everyone apart from the audience to go…
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Anna and the Apocalypse 2017
(•_•)
<) )╯ WHEN IT COMES TO KILLING ZOMBIES
/ \\(•_•)
( (> I'M THE TOP OF MY CLASS
/ \(•_•). WHILE YOU’VE BEEN HIDING
<) )> I’VE BEEN KICKIN SOME ASS
/ \