On the Basis of Sex

On the Basis of Sex ★★

"it's not a privilege, it is a cage, and these laws are the fucking BARS, motherfucker"

reader, i regret to inform you this is one weird-ass biopic. i present the strangest moments, ranked:

1. in his first scene, justin theroux dances around the aclu, slapping his knees as he at length performs a (self-written?) song entitled, i fuck you not, "i'm a nut"

2. felicity's brooklyn accent is just her normal british accent but while pretending her jaw's been wired shut

3. felicity and armie hammer's foreplay is just them fetishizing their height difference with sweet nothings like "you're so short" and "why don't you come down here"

[a/n: i would do the exact same thing were i married to armie hammer]

4. a) we know felicity jones's rbg is "one smart cookie" because there's a scene she explains tax law while helping an old woman with her vexsome crossword...

b) .... which leads to this motherfucking exchange:

“australian egg-layer... eight letters... second letter L”
”have you tried........ platypus”
”oh my shit”

5. in her professor years, rbg rediscovers feminism after getting devastatingly owned by her 15-year-old daughter, who skips school to go to gloria steinem rallies

6. this same kid is insanely ride or die for atticus finch and has a tearful fight with rbg about his status as a role model

7. this SAME KID says "moooom, i told you, denice and i are starting our consciousness-raising group, UGH"

8. armie moans "oh, mrs. ginsburg" in bed and it's... actually super hot this one's an observation not a critique

9. within 10 minutes of each other both "no way jose!" and "you braise a brisket, you don't bake it" are used in a dramatic context

10.

"this is sex-based discrimination
*takes several deep breaths*
against
*mops sweat away from brow*
a
*pants heavily*
*downs entire gatorade*
*takes a shower*
man?"
*collapses in exhaustion, sleeps for a year*

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unrelated: this movie puts armie hammer in the kitchen wearing a little blue apron and for that i declare it an early lock for best picture