The Northman

The Northman ★★★★★

Eggers does NOT miss. I fucking adore The Witch and I love The Lighthouse, but this is his best flick by a MILE. 

The Northman is as epic as a movie can get. Not only do you get all the fancy pantsy cinematography that film nerds adore from his previous work, but the story is drenched with so much juice. I was drawn in from start to finish, and while it’s nearly two and half hours, my attention never wavered. My eyeballs were glued to the screen. This blood soaked Viking epic can best be defined as badass. Performances were stellar from everyone and I can’t express that enough. Alexander Skarsgard was fantastic as the lead, and Hollywood darling Anya Taylor Joy really brought it as she always does. I also really dug Nicole Kidman in this too. I’ve always been a fan of her but to me, her acting is hit or miss. The Mountain from Game of Thrones is also in this. The parents from The Witch make appearances too :).

The story is like many other revenge stories, mostly like Shakespeare’s Hamlet. I knew it’d be violent but I was also surprised with how violent it got. Some motherfuckers got VIOLATED in this shit and it was intense. If I see anyone say this movie was long and boring, they’re high as a kite. There were so many ultra violent scenes in this and I felt like it was non-stop!

I can’t wait to check this out again. I was surprised, yet happy to see this in an absolute packed house. I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie that wasn’t a Marvel or huge franchise movie on opening night, and the theater being packed like sardines. People were in the front row! And while there were some dumbasses that’d laugh at any slightly inappropriate scenes, I still loved the fact that people came out to see this. I hope this makes a lot of money, since that’d do a lot for “independent” and original movies.

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