Favorite films

  • Apocalypse Now
  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • The Blues Brothers
  • WALL·E

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  • Swallow

    ★★★

  • The Croods: A New Age

  • Dune

    ★★★★★

  • A Time to Kill

    ★½

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  • Florence Foster Jenkins

    Florence Foster Jenkins

    ★★

    Always follow your dreams. Maybe one day Meryl Streep will portray you in a mediocre biopic.

  • Who Killed Captain Alex?

    Who Killed Captain Alex?

    ★★★★

    Aeons from now, in a time so distant it is unfathomable to the human form, the elder beings descend upon a council at the advent of the death of the universe. They communicate in forms beyond our comprehension to ponder one important point: They still haven't figured out who killed Captain Alex.

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  • Swallow

    Swallow

    ★★★

    Not a bad effort at all from a technical and artistic point of view, and it's effectively uncomfortable, but the message is a bit obvious. Not to say I don't agree. Death to traditional marriage.

  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This is a film that I have so painstakingly anticipated for years, perhaps even before it was announced, as I have yearned for a proper modern adaptation of Dune for decades, that it's basically impossible for me to evaluate it critically for now. In fact, I realised recently that I was actually dreading finally seeing this, even so much as to be stunned at the sudden appearance of a 1080p rip on my totally legitimate sources. (It isn't out in…

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  • The Problem with Apu

    The Problem with Apu

    ½

    "I certainly deserve a show."

    An impotent, mewling, self-important tirade by some irrelevant comedian about a cartoon character he doesn't like, fuelled with an incredibly reductive analysis of Apu and what he is designed to reflect in American society, and endless examples from the series that are taken out of context in order to make them seem like they are the problem they are in fact making fun of.

    What's really remarkable to me is how narcissistic this dude is.…

  • Lemonade

    Lemonade

    I can't provide any constructive criticism of this pretentious and egotistical bourgeois nonsense without being labelled sexist and racist by Beyonce's psychotic and fanatical fanbase, so I'm just going to do what everyone else does and scream YAAAAS SLAY QUEEN BEY SLAAAAY YOU ON FLEEK QUEEN SLAY YAAAASSS FLEEK QUEEN BEY SLAY SLAAAAAY YAAAAASS QUEEN BEY SLAAAAAAAAAAAAY FLEEK YAAAASS QUEEN BEY QUEEEEEE

    To think that The Revenant was attacked for "cheaply imitiating" Malick while something this tacky has been met…