CinemaJoe Patron

Favorite films

  • Ocean's Twelve
  • Throne of Blood
  • John Wick: Chapter 4
  • Chungking Express

Recent activity

  • The Book of Clarence

  • The Boy and the Heron


  • Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron


  • Chungking Express


Pinned reviews

  • Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile

    Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile


    Will the families and kiddos enjoy it? Probably. But at what cost?

    Lyle is a semi mute crocodile. I say semi mute because he can sing, but that’s it. If words come out of his crocodile mouth, it’s a show tune.  Whether this is canon to the extensive lore of Lyle Lyle Crocodile or simply Shawn Mendes was so bad at voice acting the studio decided to have him only sing, I am not sure. But it does beg the…

  • Accepted



    2001: A Space Odyssey                    Accepted

    - long and boring                          - short and hilarious 

    - has zero Green Day                  - features the hit            
        songs                                        …

Recent reviews

  • The Boy and the Heron

    The Boy and the Heron


    Forgetting is normal.

    There’s this obsession that we need to remember it all— to the point where we are practically vilified for forgetting and moving on. It’s unrealistic, but more importantly, unfair. Mahito shouldn’t feel guilty, neither should we. 

    It’s an even more poignant message considering it’s coming from a master reaching the end of his career. 

    The Miyazaki x Hisaishi combo shatters me every single time but I wouldn’t have it any other way (I’ll send them my therapy bill though).

  • Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

    Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron


    Reading the reviews for Spirit in 2002 is a testament that right-leaning fear mongering always existed in the film space because conservatives were genuinely upset that the sexy horse fought against American western expansion. 

    Would be funny to show it to those YouTubers who create thumbnails of Brie Larson and Rachel Zegler crying because 100% they would blow a casket watching this again. 

    Anyways, good movie. “Get Off My Back” was a banger on this soundtrack. 

    Podcast- Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

Popular reviews

  • May December

    May December


    Charles fucking Melton. I don’t want to reduce a movie that’s clearly crafted with so much skill to create scenes brimming with unease to a single performance, but Melton is so absurdly good that without him, I’m not sure how this movie reaches those insane harrowing levels. His body language, his mannerisms, his delivery— he is the personification of stolen innocence and your heart breaks for him. 

    Portman, Moore, the campy piano melody that plays after a reveal, the dressing room shot, the Portman letter monologue— all pieces of a sick and tragic puzzle that is May December. 

  • The Menu

    The Menu


    What school did you go to?
    Student loans?
    I’m sorry, you’re dying. 

    Podcast Episode 94- 10 Best Horror of 2022