Solo: A Star Wars Story ★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

spectacularly dull and completely useless as both a single film and a nourishing entry into a now already tiring character set in the franchise.

now we get to really see where Hans character all began. at once!

his blaster? a guy gave it to him!
his jacket? fuck knows!
chewbacca? was basically the rancor until han spoke to him!
his gold dice? he always had them!
lando? yep, they met at a card game!
the Kessel run? the computer actually mapped the plotlines!

all the classics you heard bits of and didnt need to know more of, now here in full epic-vision banality!!!!!

Darth Maul? hes back! in hologram form!
Lando's Hutt Palace disguise? worn by the guy that gave han his blaster for some reason!
Thermal detonator joke? boom baby!
they swear now? hell yeah

its telling, as a massive and totally sadly deep star wars fan, how hard i rolled my eyes at most of this because i would honestly forgive it all, every second, if the story or ideas were even any good or fun but the full thing is just an inconvenience to get to the references half the time and i do not care for the life of me about any of that

lando IS good but glover makes him feel like out of another film, too cowardly and cheap, over being untrustworthy and smooth i guess? hes got his mannerisms downpat but it makes no difference.

my Hot Pick for the worst star wars movie in the franchise

~findlay🔮🔪 liked these reviews