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~findlay🔮🔪 has written 47 reviews for films rated .

  • My Little Chickadee

    My Little Chickadee

    probably going all in prematurely here after one film, but i think i absolutely hate you WC Fields

    you are....anti-funny in the worst possible way

  • Omen IV: The Awakening

    Omen IV: The Awakening

    *through the biggest fucken bullhorn youve ever imagined* PAGING DR. WHO-GIVES-A-FUCK, WE GOT A FAKER OVER HERE

  • Blood Hook

    Blood Hook

    110 minutes for a slasher this boring should be genuinely exiled into total obscurity.

  • Terrifier

    Terrifier

    when the horror community go nutso over a "new horror icon" u can bet ur framed Rebecca DeMornay autograph that its gonna be total garbaggio.

    between the three of us watching, we were 6 minutes ahead of each beat in the film. Also the "splitting someone fully in half" goregag was done better and with more contextual shock by Bone Tomahawk.

  • The Sum of All Fears

    The Sum of All Fears

    kkrrchht*** OPERATION DADJEANS IS GO, SIR **krrchht

    basically hated every second of it

    also post 9/11, this feels just like america's big flag-weeping apology to the public for having to engage in a "civilized war" instead of literally nuking the middle east into an empty fucking car park

  • Transylvania 6-5000

    Transylvania 6-5000

    Gr8 title song tho, i mean, a total classix

  • Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil

    Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil

    fucked it.

    The bookend entries of the franchise are rotten, the meat is not

  • The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
  • Ultraviolet

    Ultraviolet

    vampiric mercury rising by way or that victoria beckham/dane bowers "out of your mind" music video


    i have honestly never seen a worse looking film in my life

  • Insidious: Chapter 3

    Insidious: Chapter 3

    in an extremely rare move: i turned this off 40 minutes in.

    zero atmosphere, outlandlishly cheap and longview scares and empty story beats every single scene.

  • mother!

    mother!

    home is where the heART is right? hahaha no.

    the deification of the artist as seen through the many facets of art, influence, fame, and reverie. Mother! is the absolute fucking APEX of directorial smugness and transparent pretension.

    This is 100% the most annoying film ive seen in the cinema in a long time in some of the most conflicting ways. The sound design is great but its intensity and cacophonous use is abject misery. The wonderfully grainy,muted and decaying…

  • The Boneyard

    The Boneyard

    just watch Return of the Living Dead 2 or Creepozoids.