• Five Fingers of Death

    Five Fingers of Death


    A Quentin Tarantino favourite, as obvious from the lifting of the Kill Bill siren sound used throughout this. Unfortunately, this didn't work too well for me. I liked the revenge element after our main guy has his hands smashed with a bat and has to recover and seek revenge. But there's a whole lot more going on with the story and far far too many characters to keep track of. Also, the final tournament is a bit of a letdown.

  • Impractical Jokers: The Movie

    Impractical Jokers: The Movie


    Yes it’s a glorified episode of the show with the actual story part being the weakest part of the film, but it’s just so damn funny. There are some moments here where I could hardly even watch. I had to cover my eyes like I was staring into the sun or something. As a film with a plot and characters, it’s worthless. But it made me laugh throughout, so I was happy.

  • The Lure

    The Lure


    The Lure is another in the long line of films I’d been meaning to get to but never quite hitting play and it’s another that more than deserved me seeing earlier. From the very start of the film where we are presented with two nude girls at a nightclub, being shown to the boss that they are “smooth like a Barbie doll”. We then find out they are mermaids. They end up working as entertainment at the club and become…

  • Ghastlies



    I have known of Brett Kelly for years now and if you’d have asked me, I’d have said I was a fan of his. But it turns out that I actually haven’t seen a single thing he has ever done, though I was sure I had. I’m not sure Ghastlies is the best place to start, but I feel it’s not the worst.

    Small creatures called Ghastlies have landed on earth and have crashed a sorority party (that only 4…

  • Ninja Zombie

    Ninja Zombie


    This really should have been more fun than it was. I adore the 8mm format and it loos great here, especially anytime Ninja Zombie and his glorious mullet are on screen. But there are only so many poorly put together fight scenes I could take before it became a bit pedestrian. What we needed here was some more gore to liven things up. It needed to have been directed by Todd Sheets.

  • Leaving Las Vegas

    Leaving Las Vegas


    I used to work in a bar in South London. I would see career alcoholics in every day. One guy was in that bar every single day of the 3 and a half years I worked there. He would get there about 10am, start on pints of John Smiths, then at about 2pm (when it was respectable) he would move onto double brandy. He would leave about 6pm, then repeat the next day. Every single day. He also ran his…

  • Untitled Horror Movie

    Untitled Horror Movie


    I’ll often just throw on something that I’m pretty sure won’t be all that good whilst I’m doing something else. This felt light and not much cop, so on it went. Well, it actually ended up being pretty decent. It’s another laptop screen movie, which I actually tend to enjoy. A group of Hollywood actors get together when it seems their TV series is being cancelled. Slowly, some strange things start to happen to them all.

    The characters aren’t too…

  • The Croods: A New Age

    The Croods: A New Age


    I didn't like the first Croods film as the Crood family were actually just a bunch of really horrible people. And yet again here, they remain to be. They are invited in and shown great hospitality by another family and all they do is slowly destroy their home, break the one rule they set and think about nobody but themselves. They are that family that lives next door and let their dog bark all night, plays generic dance music till 4am at ear-splitting volume with no thought about anyone that has to live around them. They should not be celebrated in any way.

  • White Noise

    White Noise


    Not even sure what to say about this. Fuck the alt-right. There's a great moment where we see one of the featured players interviewing refugees and hear them tell multiple stories about fleeing their countries through a fear for their lives and missing their homelands, only for her to just use a few clips of some saying they wish they had never left home.

  • Pig



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I’ve been a fan for many years now, but there seems to have never been a better time for Cage fans than now. The guy is just on top form and the premise, coupled with the near universal praise for Pig, meant that I was sure I was on for another winner here. Unfortunately, this one just did not work for me. At all.

    I’ll start with the good. The thing looks amazing. I was actually shocked to see it…

  • HellKat



    There is some potential here in Hellkat. Some of the effects on the creatures are pretty damn solid for a low budget film. I also was pretty on board with the lead character to start with, all the way until she starts fighting. Then it all just becomes a mess and story is just thrown out of the window as we watch people fight for the remainder of the duration.

  • Daniel Isn't Real

    Daniel Isn't Real


    The son of Arnold Schwarzenegger, is the son of Tim Robbins’ imaginary friend, and this is no Drop Dead Fred. Though that one is pretty damn weird too. I’m not sure what I was expecting here, but I really didn’t think it was going to go all Hellraiser. There are some great creature effects on show and a good story too.