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  • Upstream Color

    Upstream Color

    Did you enjoy how purposefully confusing Primer was? Did you wish it had even LESS of a narrative or reason to give a shit about the characters? Well then have WE got the MOVIE for YOU!

    This movie was the cinematic equivalent of watching a psychotic person standing on a street corner yelling nonsense. It's like Carruth came up with the scene transitions first and then built an entire 'script' (aka stream of conscious mumbling) to fit them. Is this…

  • Lucy in the Sky

    Lucy in the Sky

    ★★

    For about 2/3 of this movie, I kept thinking to myself "Well it's a little slow and they need to stop fucking with the aspect ratio every five seconds, but it's not too bad..."

    And then this train went OFF. THE. RAAAAAAAILS.

    The last act was so tonally jarring. I find myself saying this a lot, but we really missed out what could've been a hilarious comedy.

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  • Fun with Dick and Jane

    Fun with Dick and Jane

    ★★★★

    severely underrated

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★

    A pretentious review for a pretentious movie:

    Call Me By Your Name. Call Me By Your Unnecessary Scenes. Call Me By Your Character Inconsistency. Call Me By Your Pacing Issues. Call Me By Your Director Who Wanted A Vacation To Italy. Call Me By Your Statutory Rape. Call Me By Your Peach Fucking.

    It's like an alien watched a bunch of Godard movies and 30 episodes of the West Wing and said yeah, I understand how humans interact now!