• Behind the Swedish Model

    Behind the Swedish Model

    Comparatively, what happened in Sweden is insane, and this film did a highly effective job in capturing the rise/fall/rise of the people in charge. That main fella is so charismatic and the music, oh god, the music was so sick. I loved it! and I love this poster! Such a pleasant poster. No nonsense, fun wordplay, nice font. The crease in the middle is so sneaky stylish. It's literally the perfect poster.

  • Antichrist

    Antichrist

    ★★★½

    This is the epitome of a movie that baits people into writing overly personal reviews that have nothing to do with the movie itself. Hardly any answers, mostly just confusion and weird feelings. The acting was top-tier, though, and the camera work was dope without even trying too hard. I hate to say it, but people's responses to this are just as interesting as the movie itself. I doubt the human mind was supposed to process something as messed up…

  • Eighth Grade

    Eighth Grade

    ★★★★½

    “Uh, well, I go to archery camp every summer, and last summer I got five bullseyes in a day, so, y’know, they gave me ‘sharpshooter of the week’ award”

    I didn’t give it five stars because I wish it was longer and I wish the funny kid was in it more.

  • Last Seen Alive

    Last Seen Alive

    This was ideal for cell phone viewership, me getting distracted for 20 seconds at a time had pretty minimal consequences. Though drowning in cliches, there was well-earned tension sometimes, and the action was pretty solid. I truly could not have believed in the romantic aspect any less, though. Damn, this is a choppy review. I haven't written anything for pleasure in a hot second. Gonna need to step my game up for the Menu/Bones and All/Fablemans/Whale/Avatar five-peat I'm about to…

  • Triangle of Sadness

    Triangle of Sadness

    ★★★½

    All the different flavors of rich people, tossed together onto a $250 million dollar sinking yacht, contains a lot less drama than it sounds like. There was some, but not much. More so, the infusion of classism and general delusion into the ridiculous conversations was the selling point, 'til the third act, where actions speak louder, and things shift to Total Drama Island™. The irony of a socialist captain being really bad at his job is magnificent, the socially aware…

  • Blonde

    Blonde

    ★★★

    I’d be interested to know what I would have thought of this movie if I went in completely, 100% blind.

    I could understand loving BLONDE or hating it, the highs are so high but ultimately I am walking away feeling bad for Marilyn Monroe and still confused which plot points are actually biographical (and which were put there to make thing more interesting). 

    The vast majority of technical stuff was mesmerizing, but this was overshadowed by the weird beats that…

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The current time is 9:03 AM, for some reason I chose to eat a CAVA bowl for breakfast, and I'm still shleepy from a night spent reading articles and reviews of this movie. I couldn't fall asleep because my tummy hurt from eating Taco Bell at 11 PM. I am kind of having a hard time processing this one because it was a lot different than I expected and even though it's fun to be surprised 😲, I am starting…

  • The Worst Person in the World

    The Worst Person in the World

    ★★★★

    Oh, look, it's June something and I'm too tired to leave the house but too awake to try going to sleep. I'm alone, so you know that means: time to watch some weird shit I heard about on Indiewire! Cue themes of emotional immaturity, impermanence, finding your purpose, heartbreak, writer's block, whatever. You know what's scarier than death? Making a mistake that lives on and having to face it every day. What if you make so many mistakes that the…

  • Thor: Love and Thunder

    Thor: Love and Thunder

    ★★★

    Here are my instructions on how to maximize your enjoyment of Thor: Love and Thunder

    1. Before you leave your house, find a medium-sized piece of white paper

    2. Using a thick black marker, write the words "this is a movie made for kids"

    3. When you arrive to your seat in the theater, place the piece of paper next to you, with the words facing you

    4. Silence your cell phone and wait for the movie to start

    5.…

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★

    Hot on the heels of its foreign inspiration muse, the arthouse Spanish masterpiece Hombre Del Norte (2019), arrives The Northman, a family action flick that kicks off the 2022 summer blockbuster season in glimmering fashion. Viewers find a hero in Amleth, the quippy, lovable viking from, you guessed it, the North, where he grew up in a haze of banquets and family bonding time. Early on, the audience is treated to a surprise cameo from Christian Bale in his Batman…

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This movie has convinced itself of a few truths:

    1. Audiences need constant exposition, or else their attention might wander off

    2. Dr. Strange, for some reason, is now just as goofy as every other Marvel protagonist (NO, HE ISN'T, see Doctor Strange, Avengers: Infinity War, and Avengers: Endgame)

    3. Characters talking to each other about their backgrounds or their thoughts is far too boring, they have to either be fighting or shouting plot points

    4. A niche group must…

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Optimistic Nihilism