• Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★★

    I like this film more than the Tommy Lee Jones natural disaster film, Volcano.

  • Pet Sematary

    Pet Sematary

    ★★

    My only offering to the Stephen King spooky weekend hung me and my wife had. Fun fact this movie is just incorrect. 

    It’s incorrect like socks in public. It was like just big budget lame.

  • The Shining

    The Shining

    ★★★★★

    Scatman Crothers’ painting in his bedroom are my favorite thing about this movie.

  • Doctor Sleep

    Doctor Sleep

    ★★★★½

    Want some of that horny psychic vampire stream everyone is sucking up. But much like so many great things that make you feel like you will live forever you have to make a kid scream or something for it. So I gotta pass on your steam, sorry.

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two

    ★★★½

    It was fine. Whatever. Wrapped up and mike was all, I love you stuttering Bill, and bill was like something something joke about how Stephen King can’t end a novel.

  • It

    It

    ★★★★½

    It’s all new kids on the block meets clown boys kissy fucking stupid faces. I don’t know, I liked it I guess. It’s a great kids adventure party.

  • Trick 'r Treat

    Trick 'r Treat

    ★★★★★

    It’s fun. It’s got goo and pumpkin guts and special needs children and masks and a town of Halloween fun! Go watch and be happy. 

    I mean it is kinda just pandering to the basic Halloween loving basic bitch in all of us right. 

    No matter how you spend your Halloween, be It carving pentagrams in homeless men’s backs or wearing a funny wig and handing out candy, this film is for you.

  • Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch

    Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch

    ★★★★

    Um wolf boobs, wolf orgies, wolf witch queens, wolf punks and Reb Brown going full war cry wolf massacre. 

    Sybil Danning knows how to wear angles and sunglasses so well that my wife completely gave up on this movie,

    Reb Brown just wants guns, hard Eastern European hotel sex, and werewolf blood. 

    A small persons eyes get witches out of his dang ole skull! Watch it! Now!

  • Bride of Re-Animator

    Bride of Re-Animator

    ★★★★

    Madness and Goop amped up to 11 with flying heads and metal joints and drippy drips. 

    I liked it. I like flowing green stuff! I also like romance. This movie has a bat. It’s shot it all!

  • The New York Ripper

    The New York Ripper

    ★★★★½

    I decided to watch this in the middle of the day, on the living room tv. And you know what? No regerts! No regerts at all! My wife even stayed married to me. 

    No regerts 2020!

  • Beetlejuice

    Beetlejuice

    ★★★★★

    He’s all it’s fucking showtime you stupid motherfucks. And everyone is all goo ga ga

  • Dead & Buried

    Dead & Buried

    ★★★★★

    Oh my goodness! I’ve never met a funeral home director/mortician that wasn’t a bit of a gas lighter.
    Coastal Goon Ghouls with cameras, my new Ska Band.