My biggest question (among other things) is who casts Jordan Fucking Catalano as a vampire and forgets to make him sexy!!????? Who looked at these CGI vamp faces that closely resemble a mummified cat’s anus and said “yep yep that’s it that’s the one!” 

Baffling. 

Embarrassing.

I hope Jared Harris and Matt Smith bought themselves something very nice with that money.

A rare perfect film. 10/10 

Come for young Dennis Quaid in one of his best performances, stay for Paul Dooley.

Do Watch: If you’re a Jesse Plemons completist because this is another great one from him. 

Don’t Watch: If you’ve seen any of the many superior versions of this Funny Games/2 Days in the Valley style film.