Annette ★★★½

That was the most fucked up movie I’ve ever seen”-The only other woman in the theater with me.

Well Leos Carax you did it…you made the very first movie that I literally cannot assign a rating to. And yes, go through my now 1,722 movies logged…all but one have a rating. I have zero idea what to make of what I just saw. There were multiple times throughout the film where I was genuinely loving it…and about exactly the same amount of parts where I almost walked out of the theater and was going to give up. I just…I just don’t know how to feel about this film. The music was phenomenal, the acting was solid throughout…but so so many fucking insane choices in the plotting, presentation and editing where my brain just couldn’t decide if I should go along with it or make fun of it. I was genuinely laughing with the film and loving the unique artistry and singular talent of Carax and sparks on display…and other moments where I just was laughing at the movie. But maybe that was the point? Fuck you. I feel like this whole thing should have been focused on Marion Cotillard, but it just wasn’t. And I found that infuriating but also endearing…literally fuck this movie…but I’m watching it again on August 20th so watch out for my next review.

Alright picture this hypothetical situation: You have just ordered this exquisite meal from the finest restaurant in the world. It’s got caviar, lobster, home made sauce, home made pasta, whatever the fuck you can think of. Leos (the chef in this situation) begins to walk out with the dish and fuck it’s gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything like it before (the first 30 minutes or so), then…he drops the plate on the floor. Every ingredient goes all over the place. Then leos starts hysterically laughing and just starts sweeping it up, puts it back on the plate, and still serves it to you but now it’s all jumbled and there’s like a band aid on it from the floor. But Leos seems even more proud of it than he was when he initially walked out with it. Well I payed for it already (this is a different type of restaurant where ya pay first, shut up). Well I’ll eat it. It’s different, it’s fucking shit but these are the finest cuts of fish I’ve ever had and damn, pasta right from the source? Don’t mind if I do.

Edit: After sleeping on this, I’m giving it 3 and a half stars. I think I liked it more than I disliked it but again, I will confirm on the 20th.

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