Favorite films

  • Phenomena
  • Faces Places
  • Barry Lyndon
  • Deep Cover

Recent activity

  • A Fish Called Wanda


  • Old


  • Dragon Inn


  • VHYes


Pinned reviews

  • The Green Knight

    The Green Knight


    "Red is the color of lust, but Green... Green is what is left behind" -Essel

    -2021 Ranked: boxd.it/aL2Ys

    If I was on a quest and I saw Barry Keoghan.... I would be terrified.

    The Green Knight is beautiful and weird and confusing and that is my fucking jam so I loved it. It's the sort of film that assholes try to explain to you but honestly I don't even need the explanation to love it... I love having questions that…

  • Stillwater



    "Life is brutal" -Bill Baker,

    -2021 Ranked: boxd.it/aL2Ys

    Two hours and twenty minutes... now that's brutal.

    This movie is fine to good and very little else needs to be said about it... but I'll say a bit. Matt Damon is good in it... It's too damn long but most individual scenes are fine... it's got a weird structure to it that I actually kind of liked because it felt more true to life.... it's funnier than I thought it would…

Recent reviews

  • A Fish Called Wanda

    A Fish Called Wanda


    "Don't ever...ever... EVER... call me stupid!" -Otto

    - FC Second Anniversary Scavenger Hunt: boxd.it/cO2m8
    "Watch a movie you haven't watched since you were a little kid"

    So when I was like 9 I was allowed to watch this movie but my mom made me leave the theater for the sex scene... well now I'm 42 and I watched the sex scene mom and there's nothing you can do about it you asshole!!!!!!!

    P.S. Cast amazing... mostly holds up comedy.

  • Old



    "I'm sorry" -Prisca

    - 2021 Ranked: boxd.it/aL2Ys
    - Shyamalan Ranked: boxd.it/2qcOy

    Why don't their beards grow?

    This was my second watch and it didn't go quite as well as the first but overall I still enjoy it. I think with the tension of not understanding everything gone, this second time I couldn't help but focus on how little of this makes sense... to the point that it feels kind of lazy as opposed to just being harmless little plot-holes. A…

Popular reviews

  • Framing Britney Spears

    Framing Britney Spears


    "There was too much money to be made off of her suffering" -Wesley Morris,

    - 2021 Ranked: boxd.it/aL2Ys

    This is legitimately scary.

    We destroyed a woman for no real reason. I have to admit that I naively bought into the "Britney is just crazy and horrible" media circus. I also have been guilty of saying that if someone is a celebrity they deserve what they get when it comes to media scrutiny. I was definitely wrong.

    This is a well…

  • Dora and the Lost City of Gold

    Dora and the Lost City of Gold


    This movie is fine but its target demographic is 4-10 year olds that aren't scaredy cats.

    10 Better Things to do Than Critically Evaluate this as an Adult:

    (1) Criticize a foreign film without subtitles because you didn't understand the language.

    (2) Criticize the local news for having a depressing ending.

    (3) Tell a child that her taste in music sucks.

    (4) Read a child psychology book

    (5) Call Mr. Rogers a commie bastard.

    (6) Talk to people in the…